Viral Twitter Thread Is Full Of Things Kids Renamed

by Valerie Williams
Originally Published: 
Image via Twitter/Tessa Dare

Twitter thread full of things renamed by kids is pure gold

A viral Twitter thread is proving to be the perfect escape from our hellish news cycle because it’s full of pure and adorable things that kids have decided to call everyday objects. The remixed results are pretty much the funniest thing ever.

Author Tessa Dare shared an anecdote about her friend’s child coming up with a way better name for a crow.

A HALLOWEEN EAGLE. I’m shook. That’s so unbelievably perfect I’m annoyed I didn’t think of it myself.

But the fun didn’t stop there. Dare’s tweet began to fill up with replies full of brand-new terms we all need to start using immediately, all thought up by insanely creative little ones.

The aviary category is probably my favorite.

That is, until I saw my new word for rhino and I will literally never hear them called rhinos again from this day forward.

Kids have the answers to basically everything. Like the best way to refer to those items that keep our hands warm just like the ones that keep our feet warm. Seriously, why aren’t we funding this?

And while we’re talking winter gear, behold. Muff is a super dumb word anyway, fight me.

FYI, we have a better word for farts now, so maybe our kids can stop embarrassing us by yelling “I FARTED” at Target.

The children truly are our future. They’re making boring shit like factory buildings more whimsical and interesting.

They’re also using their available resources to state the totally obvious. Who else besides my annoying children play harmonicas? Freaking cowboys.

What has five points? A starfish. What also has five points? I rest my case. Adults are cancelled. It’s all you, kids.

Bed skins. BED SKINS.

Now they’re just making too much sense.

Like, who doesn’t think this when they roll up to buy some nice steaks?

But perhaps this reply was best of all.

My niece just started softball this year and when she’s playing outfield, she calls herself “the getter.” Hello, she’s getting the ball. It makes completely perfect sense. My son called hotdogs hot logs for years, because look at hotdogs — they are the shape of logs. Kids just see the world so purely and call things as they are. From now on, us adults should sit back and let them do all the naming. They’re that much better at it.

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