Twitter thread full of things renamed by kids is pure gold
A viral Twitter thread is proving to be the perfect escape from our hellish news cycle because it’s full of pure and adorable things that kids have decided to call everyday objects. The remixed results are pretty much the funniest thing ever.
Author Tessa Dare shared an anecdote about her friend’s child coming up with a way better name for a crow.
My friend’s 5-year-old just saw a crow and called it a “Halloween eagle.”
And a child shall lead us. It is known. This is the new name for the bird-formally-known-as-crow. You know what to do, @MerriamWebster.
— Tessa Dare (@TessaDare) May 30, 2018
A HALLOWEEN EAGLE. I’m shook. That’s so unbelievably perfect I’m annoyed I didn’t think of it myself.
But the fun didn’t stop there. Dare’s tweet began to fill up with replies full of brand-new terms we all need to start using immediately, all thought up by insanely creative little ones.
The aviary category is probably my favorite.
A friend’s 5yo was wailing about seeing “flamingo witches” after watching the National Geographic channel. Took a little while to figure out she was talking about vultures.— jillian (@jilliank245) May 30, 2018
That is, until I saw my new word for rhino and I will literally never hear them called rhinos again from this day forward.
A friend's 5 yr old saw a rhino and called it a "Battle Unicorn". Can we let 5 yr olds christen new species please?— Zoe's Zoo (@ZoesZooYouTube) May 30, 2018
Kids have the answers to basically everything. Like the best way to refer to those items that keep our hands warm just like the ones that keep our feet warm. Seriously, why aren’t we funding this?
A kindergartner told me she liked my hand socks...gloves obviously. But now forever hand socks.— Jenny Watson (@msjennywatson) May 30, 2018
And while we’re talking winter gear, behold. Muff is a super dumb word anyway, fight me.
My daughter re-named earmuffs "snow headphones" and it stuck over here.— Geoff Gerrietts (@ggerrietts) May 30, 2018
FYI, we have a better word for farts now, so maybe our kids can stop embarrassing us by yelling “I FARTED” at Target.
My niece used to say she was “singing in her pants” whenever she passed gas.— Brett Myers (@brettspiel) May 31, 2018
The children truly are our future. They’re making boring shit like factory buildings more whimsical and interesting.
When my daughter was 3 or 4, she called a smoke stack at a local business a "cloud factory." Yep, that *is* what it looked like!— Kristin Locke (@kree104) May 30, 2018
They’re also using their available resources to state the totally obvious. Who else besides my annoying children play harmonicas? Freaking cowboys.
When our son was little, he called a harmonica a "cowboy trumpet".— Suzanne Blakeman (@SuzanneBlakeman) May 30, 2018
What has five points? A starfish. What also has five points? I rest my case. Adults are cancelled. It’s all you, kids.
My 5 year old niece says "starfish-circle" for cartwheel. Genius!— Kaitlin C (@KCrechriou) May 30, 2018
Bed skins. BED SKINS.
As a toddler, my son was king of properly renaming things. This is why my vocabulary now includes gems like “boo boo trucks” and “bed skins” (ambulances and sheets, obviously).— Erin Rooney Doland (@erdoland) May 30, 2018
Now they’re just making too much sense.
My son calls ravioli “pasta pockets”— Stotesbery In Disguise (@shaniggli) May 30, 2018
Like, who doesn’t think this when they roll up to buy some nice steaks?https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/1001890154188025856
But perhaps this reply was best of all.
These would be great sports team names.— 🌿🏴Upper🐾Canada😻PⒶngo🏴☠️ (@ian_c_bell) May 30, 2018
THIS SUNDAY WATCH THE FLORIDA FLAMINGO WITCHES BATTLE THE NEW ENGLAND HALLOWEEN EAGLES!
My niece just started softball this year and when she’s playing outfield, she calls herself “the getter.” Hello, she’s getting the ball. It makes completely perfect sense. My son called hotdogs hot logs for years, because look at hotdogs — they are the shape of logs. Kids just see the world so purely and call things as they are. From now on, us adults should sit back and let them do all the naming. They’re that much better at it.