Twitter users share their creepiest kid stories.
Children can be cute. Children can be precious. Children can say some really, really creepy shit, and make you wonder if they’re maybe secretly a demon sent to haunt you for all eternity. No, seriously — there’s a Twitter thread exploding right now that details some weirdly cryptic stuff kids have said. Read on, and brace yourself. You should probably (definitely) sleep with one eye open from now on.
Last week, writer Mikki Kendall put out a Twitter call for some creepy, real-life quotes from children. And, oh boy, did people deliver. There are more than 1,000 stories and counting — each one more hilariously, terrifyingly bizarre than the next.
First of all, there appears to be a lot of evidence that children are both psychic and have lived multiple lives.
There is also the real possibility that they’re straight up murderers.
They know when you’re going to die — and apparently it’s much sooner than you hoped it would be.
Terrified, yet? It’s just going to keep getting weirder.
Like, there are some kids who will love you so much that they might try to kidnap you forever and/or make a replica of you without your organs. Because, natch.
Other stories include a child who was in a coma and now, whenever it rains, she says that she smells God. “So if you ever wondered what God smells like, you’re welcome,” her mom quipped. “Makes you wonder where she spent those three days.”
There was also a kid who literally TUCKED HER BONE back into her skin after she broke her arm, grabbed her bike, and headed back home.
It is becoming abundantly clear that some children have weird supernatural powers, and we all have to accept this as fact and try to live our lives the best we can. Preferably with some garlic and holy water at our sides at all times.
Now, go hug your creepy child tight — while quietly praying that they don’t attempt to perform some sort of weird ghost ritual on you in your sleep.