The Internet Is Distraught Over This Unseasoned Chicken

by Christina Marfice
Image via @corihealey / Twitter

A tweeted photo of unseasoned chicken breasts might make you lose your appetite

If there’s one thing a novice chef should learn how to master to make even the simplest of dishes taste great, it’s the art of properly seasoning your food. It’s definitely easy to over- or under-salt a dish, and we get that. But what’s not acceptable is to not even try. To leave the salt and pepper in their shakers, and to bake the saddest, blandest, unseasoned chicken the internet has ever seen.

That’s what Twitter user @corihealey’s boyfriend’s roommate did. She posted a photo of his attempt to cook some chicken, and it pretty much has the entire internet shook. You’ll see why in a minute.

It is completely, utterly unseasoned. There is not one speck of anything tasty adorning those chicken breasts. It’s a crime against food, TBH, and I cry for whoever will eventually eat that dry, tasteless excuse for a lean protein.

It is distressing. It’s giving me food anxiety. Someone get me in front of an oven; I need to bake some olive-oil-drizzled, herb-rubbed, salted and peppered chicken breasts immediately to cleanse my eyeballs of this travesty.

And I’m not alone. Twitter had responses to the tweeted photo, and thankfully, the majority of people seem to understand why the idea of a completely plain, unseasoned chicken breast makes us all want to cry tears of lost appetites.

I mean. Just. He couldn’t even have drizzled a little oil on the pan? It wouldn’t have been enough, but it would have been something.

Luckily, there’s probably hope for this chicken destroyer in the future. Thinking back, I probably wrecked a meal or 100 in my youth just by not knowing what I was doing. He still has time to learn.

If nothing else, at least this debacle is bringing together two sides of one of the biggest fights on the internet.

RIP that poor chicken. It deserved not what it got. And RIP the tastebuds of all who ate it. May their futures be filled with poultry that’s salted to perfection so they may never relive this horror.