Welcome To The Future -- We Have Vibrators Shaped Like Emojis

Thanks to Emojibator, we can now buy vibrators shaped like emojis

When you were a kid and thought about the future you probably imagined flying cars, robot butlers, and maybe some cool space-age outfits. But the future is now — and the future has vibrators shaped like popular emojis.

This innovation in orgasms comes to us courtesy of Emojibator, a company that believes in helping everyone achieve their very best climax. “If you can’t find a date, emojibate,” they exclaim.

And if you’re going to use an emoji-shaped vibrator, you need to start with the OG emoji that, um, has come to represent such a thing in the first place. The eggplant.

Just for scale, the company also shows our fave piece of produce being nervously held by a kitty:

..and nestled in among other produce. It’s $29 and, we assume, worth every penny. The company calls it, “The infamous eggplant that started it all.”

Eggplants not really your thing? Have no fear. There’s more. So much more.

Like The Chickie.

This little guy has a slightly different mission than his eggplant buddy. There’s no delicate way to put this, friends. This Chickie has suction powers. “Chickie is ideal for clitoral or external stimulation and will make your bath time so much fun,” the site explains.

“Which came first the chicken, or you…?”

Of course, this perky little thing also vibrates. For all of these skills, the asking price is a bit steeper — $89 for this handy multi-tool.

OK, back to phallic vegetables. Talk about keeping it spicy — this Chili Pepper is bound to keep things interesting between the sheets.

It’s the perfect compliment to Taco Night. Or any night, TBH.

Again, shown to scale. And just like its other veggie friends, the Chili Pepper will cost you $29.

Now, on to a somewhat more complex device that tackles a few things at once. Behold: the Shark. “Two fins each contain a motor for the perfect dual-action ribbed stimulation. Dive in deep!” they write.

Once again, no beating around the bush here, this Shark grows — and it’s ribbed for your pleasure and has inflating powers. “Make Shark Week last all year round,” they helpfully suggest.

He’s welcome at your solo party any time, but just like the Chickie, you’ll need to fork over $89 for the pleasure of his company.

Last but certainly not least, we have what might seem like the most obvious of all — the Banana.

It might be a little too on the nose, but for a mere $29, it’s a good addition to the collection.

But a good time waiting to happen, nevertheless.

All of the toys are medical-grade, body-safe silicone and if vibes and whatnot aren’t really your speed (vibrator..speed..I’m here every Tuesday, tip your waitress) they have other offerings you might be into. Like a bag of gummy dicks.

Or maybe these pineapple pasties.

If none of this tickles your fancy, there’s simply no pleasing you. LOL, just kidding. Everyone has their thing and if yours happens to be novelty vibrators shaped like emojis, then your ship’s come in.