Muhammed Nitoto sums up the answer to that new dad question “what is there for me to do” in five digestible points
Nothing in the world prepares you for that overnight transformation of becoming a parent, which can be truly terrifying. It’s pretty common for expectant moms to join online support groups or local mom groups, get advice from everyone they know (and even total strangers) to gather the information and support they need that will help with those first few weeks postpartum. Unfortunately, expectant dads don’t exactly have the same abundance of resources, leaving many of them at a loss with what to expect. Especially when it comes to the topic of breastfeeding.
Muhammed Nitoto, a California biological father of two and stepfather of three, started chronicling his journey as a father on social media for this very reason. Inspired by Breastfeeding Awareness Month, Muhammed decided to “drop some knowledge” on all the dads out there, offering five tips to his fellow fathers about breastfeeding. His post has gone viral and it is helpful to the point that every expectant and new father needs to read it, like, yesterday.
“Here’s what it looks like for the first few weeks or months after your child is born,” he wrote, along with a photo of his wife nursing their new baby. “Yup if mom breastfeeds they pretty much are tucked like this and at times you’ll wonder what is there for me to do?” Luckily, this brilliant father comes to the rescue.
He starts his five-point tutorial with night feedings. “When mom wakes up in the middle of the night. You get up and ask if she needs any help or water. The truth is most of the time she will say no but just the fact that you offered will go far,” he wrote. Yep.
His next tip is to ask the mother if she can pump and then pick one feeding that he can take care of with a bottle. “Mom will take on almost everything and will burn herself out if you let her. At times you may have to force her to rest without worrying about the baby,” he writes. “This is an easy way to do that without a fight.”
While the next tip seems obvious, clearly it isn’t to some dads: Don’t put a time limit on how long mom breastfeed the baby. “It’s not just about feeding your child it’s about them bonding as well,” he explains. “I know everyone has a different [sic] length of time they will breastfeed and as a Dad it’s hard to fully understand. Do not I repeat DO NOT try and rush this process it’s not our place and it’s not safe. You will open yourself up to a fight you can’t win.” So, not only is Muhammed helping all y’all dads out there with how to help out, but also keeping you from getting into it with a sleep deprived woman with sore boobs going on very little sleep. Listen to him, guys. He’s onto something here.
He also touches upon the fact that the newborn stage can be emotionally difficult for dads, because babies are so attached to mom the first few weeks. “Be patient,” he advises. “I know as a Dad the first few weeks we are equally excited and yet not as important yet. Your time will come faster than you know. Babies grow fast and the stronger bigger they get the more Daddy Time will be coming your way.” Muhammed is not only a brilliant man, but a sensitive one at that.
Lastly, but certainly not the least important, he suggests that if dads are given the opportunity, they should take paternity leave. “The early stages of a childs [sic] life are not just for moms to enjoy,” he writes. “I know as men making the money especially after having a baby but trust me. You can always make money but there are no instant replays in life. It doesn’t make you more of a man to not take the leave. It’s equally as important that you as a Dad get to be a part of the early development of your child.”
Nitoto tells Scary Mommy that he started blogging about fatherhood to keep his family, who lived in other cities, updated on what was going on. However, he also felt like other dads needed more resources. “Honestly, we as men don’t have a lot of things we can pull from that really tells us what to expect,” he explains. “I became a Dad and was seriously thrown into the fire. Expected to learn on the job. I wanted to share with other men what I’ve learned.”
He is truly overwhelmed by the response and plans on continuing to drop his knowledge about fatherhood on his social media channels. You can follow Muhammed’s fatherhood journey and tap into his advice on Instagram.
This article was originally published on