She’s such a good girl, but she’s also such a bad girl and we want to hear stories about her forever
A Tumblr user shared a few stories about her parents’ dog, and they’re so delightful that we kind of want to drop our dogs off at doggie daycare and go on an epic journey to visit Arwen, who’s described as “a Husky/Kelpie mix and a little Asshole.”
Our favorite breed.
It all started when user Gallusrostromegalus decided to share a few shenanigans that her parents’ dog Arwen had gotten into. But unlike most dogs, who sometimes just chase squirrels or jump on the couch, Arwen’s hijinks are totally, utterly next level.
Instead of chasing squirrels, Arwen climbs 40 feet into a tree after a porcupine or pulls a bull snake out of the grass (which eventually gets thrown onto a 90-year-old neighbor). Instead of hopping on the couch, Arwen hops on the couch and then presses a button to make it recline. Arwen also knows how to flush the toilet, and has been known to open the freezer and lie in it during hot summer days (while snacking on the contents, naturally).
The post was so popular that the author added a few bonus stories: one about the time Arwen did a “A Judo-style front-flip” on the resident dog park bully, and the time that Arwen “ninja’d her way onto the vet’s roof” after a regular check-up — no one knows how she got up there, but she got down by jumping into a nearby tree and then climbing down it.
Why is Arwen so smart? And is she truly good or evil? Gallusrostromegalus explained that her parents’ beloved pet was trained as an Autism Service Dog by prison inmates and is a cross between two of the smartest and most energetic breeds around. Since she was a puppy she was taught a variety of physical tricks and commands that make her super sharp.
“She does do the Professional Service Animal thing when we put her vest on,” the author writes, “but then she’s working and has things to do like teaching social skills to people or being a living stress ball to someone having a bad time, so all that brains, energy and training can be put towards a productive end, but if she hasn’t got an active job, Shenanigans Ensue.”
She even wrote a post all about Arwen’s history and training, which is fascinating.
How good and weird is she? She’s so good and weird she considers Brussels sprouts a treat.
In the latest update, we found out that Arwen “…ate a four inch hole in the carpet because someone dropped a pork chop there,” and also that she’s on the therapy circuit helping kids in a summer school program where she gets books read to her and has a favorite boy that she hugs. It’s just all too wonderful and the whole world needs to follow her stories immediately.