He nails the entire Disney experience for all parents ever in under two minutes
If you’ve ever been to Disney with kids, you know what a magical, enjoyable time it can be. Oh sorry, I meant it’s a total nightmare and you leave, broke, wondering if your kids are too old to put up for adoption. But it’s also a rite of passage of sorts and if you make it through, you can commiserate with other parents, forever. And if you need a reminder because you blocked it out for health reasons, watch this guy’s hilarious video of what a typical day at Disney is really like for parents everywhere.
Comedian John Crist spent a day at Disney and perfectly captured the exhausting, overscheduled, bank-breaking experience that is going there with kids. Crist’s first stop, after trying to find a goddamn map, is at a kiosk selling Mickey ears. “Forty-five dollars for bedazzled Mickey ears?!” he says. “Baby, you want these or do you want to go to college?”
Then comes my favorite part of his day: Getting chased down the street by Tigger while muttering under his breath, “Absolutely not, absolutely not,” because no one enjoys getting manhandled by another adult in a costume.
Crist then gets irritated because his “kids” want to wait an hour and a half to see impressions of France. “Eat a baguette and lose a world war!’ he screams. “That’s my impression of France! Let’s go to Space Mountain.”
Watching him continue to meltdown over strollers, maps, and the unbearable desire to sit down, it’s unbelievable that he doesn’t actually have kids of his own. According to Crist’s website, he said his comedy comes from drawing on his own childhood, instead. “Shoot, I grew up in Georgia. My dad is a pastor, and I was the third of eight homeschooled children,” he wrote. “Coming from a background like that, how do you NOT write jokes?!”
He manages to perfectly capture every parent trying to bob and weave around all the delicious, character-shaped food available at the Magic Kingdom, saying, “No, you cannot have Goofy-shaped chicken nuggets. Sit down, your mother brought ham sandwiches,” all while methodically counting his kids and threatening them with their lives if they get lost.
Basically, if you want to get the entire Disney experience while never leaving your couch, Crist’s video is the way to go.