This global pandemic has been going on for almost a year now. Not one parent could have ever imagined that virtual schooling their kids would last this long. At this point, most of us have experienced at least a few virtual school fails. And, frankly, we deserve a moment to laugh at the absurdity of all of it.
While many kids are returning to school, a lot of parents are still helping their kids navigate remote learning. And some parents are trying to remember which day is which in hybrid programs that combine virtual and in-person learning. Unfortunately, it is looking like this will last through the end of the school year for many kids and parents.
Things are bound to go wrong with parents trying to balance working from home, making 312 meals a day (kidding, but not really), remote learning, running a home and navigating a worldwide pandemic. So there is no need to feel embarrassed or like a failure. We are all struggling to make the best out of a shitty situation.
It is what it is. All we can do at this point is roll with the punches and pray to the school gods that our kids aren’t falling that far behind. The one thing parents can find comfort in is knowing that we aren’t alone in the struggle.
I know I am definitely not cut out for virtual schooling my kids. It is impossible to keep up with four kids’ school schedules. I forget at least one of their Zoom sessions almost every day. And some days it takes a good 15 minutes to get everyone logged on to the right class at the right time. And I may have logged my 1st grader into my 4th grader’s class more than once.
This Friday is an odd day for the B cohort on second rotation, which means my kid has math and his special is gym class, and if I can remember this I should have done better on the LSATs.
— Dad Bits (@DadBits) September 9, 2020
My 1st grader is about 30 assignments behind because she can’t seem to get through one assignment without me by her side. My poor older kids are basically on their own and my preschooler has become a nudist. And if one more schedule changes I might just “accidentally” drive over a device or two in my driveway.
And why is it that kids seem to unmute their mics at the most inopportune times, yet when it is your child’s turn to answer a question, their mic never seems to be on? Since we are in our homes, we think we have some level of privacy. So many of us have been caught screaming or saying an inappropriate thing or two.
One mom admitted to Scary Mommy that she got a little too excited during the swearing in of Vice President Kamala Harris. She says she may have dropped a few “f-bombs” and used the term “bad ass.” Then she realized that her preschooler was still in his Zoom class. And another mom shared that she received a phone call from the principal after using the word “asshole” during her kid’s unmuted Zoom session. And yet another mom reports that her third-grader’s mic was unmuted when he screamed “She has a TURD in her mouth!” in reference to their puppy, who had been using the cat’s litter box as her personal vending machine.
Schools: “You are required to have your camera ON AT ALL TIMES during remote learning.”
Schools 2 weeks later after seeing countless half naked toddlers and husbands in the background: “You are now required to keep your camera OFF AT ALL TIMES during remote learning.”
— Faux Ma (@Faux_Ma) August 25, 2020
With virtual learning going strong for almost a year, there seems to always be a camera on somewhere in the house. Somebody is bound to show something to a Zoom room full of school age kids they have no business seeing. Dads have been sighted in their tighty whiteys, moms have been spotted in their bras and panties, and unfortunately some have been caught with much less.
Ashley Smith accidentally gave her daughter’s Zoom a full-on biology class. After she got out of the shower, she walked across her bedroom. She heard her seven-year-old say, “Hang on Bella.” And Bella responds, “I think we need to hang up. We might all be in trouble.” Ashley suddenly realized that her daughter had relocated from the home office to her master bedroom. Unfortunately, an entire group of kids saw her naked. I am not sure if she is crying from laughing or laughing to keep herself from crying. But at least she took it all in stride.
That is all any of us can do, because all of this is just too absurd to even believe it is happening. But it is and we are all doing the best we can. And “I Mom So Hard” comedy duo Kristin Hensley and Jen Smedley perfectly sum up the absurdity of this virtual school life in one video.
So go ahead and have a good laugh. Because sometimes, that’s all we can do to keep ourselves from crying.