What I Want My Tween Kids To Know

by Lauren Brukner
patat / Getty

To My Children,

I think we are at the point where you have entered the amazing stage of:

I love you, mom, but can you stay over there, please?


I don’t want to listen to you because you are just wrong since you are my mother. No other reason necessary.

You called yourselves “tweens” the other day. I stifled a laugh, smiling at the “big-kid” expression mixed within the vulnerability in your voice, your words, as you continued to explain the meaning behind the term.

I still see the glimpses of you needing me, though.

A quick hug, held a few moments longer than usual.

Sitting squeezed up next to each other on the couch as we read before bedtime.

I grasp onto those moments, now, more even than when you were babies, since I am realizing how fast you are growing up.

Thinking about how our relationship has been evolving as you get older, I wanted to remind you about a few truths that I hope you keep in mind as we continue to have the ups-and-downs of our beautiful-crazy-amazing-stressful parent/child friendship.

1. I was once your age.

Yes, a long, long, time ago, I went through so much that you are experiencing. My hope is that you continue to dive into every opportunity with your full heart, because everything is temporary — both the wins and the losses.

2. My own childhood shaped who I am, and no, I can’t share it all with you.

This can make parenting so difficult. If you understood some experiences I had as a kid that shaped me, I think you would understand my heart even better not just as your mom, but as a person.

3. When I have to be firm, which is an important job as your mother, it’s not easy for me.

I agonize over our conversations as I lay awake at night, replaying your reaction, thinking back at my decision and hoping it was correct. Nobody is perfect.

4. I pray every night that when you grow up, we will be as close as we are now.

You are my best friends, kiddos.

Love, Mom