20 Ways You Know You're In Your Forties

by Jessica Hoefer-Land
Originally Published: 

As a mom, and (ahem) ‘lady’, in her forties, I can write this because I have done and/or experienced all of these. Please tell me I’m not alone…

1. You involuntarily pee your pants. Anywhere and anytime.

2. You drive 45 in the fast lane.

3. Your kids ask what those funny lines are around your eyes.

4. Your son asks if you had running water when you were little.

5. You forget to shave both armpits when you go in for mammograms or both legs when wearing shorts.

6. Your boobs hang like sausages.

7. AARP magazines start arriving in the mail.

8. You use the phrase “When I was your age” a lot more frequently.

9. You start thinking up cute baby names…for future grandchildren.

10. 8PM sounds really late.

11. Getting your party on really means reading past your bedtime.

12. You arrive at a restaurant for dinner. At 5PM.

13. “Add a shot” means espresso, not tequila.

14. You wear pajamas when you drop your kids off to school.

15. 80’s cover bands are sounding better and better.

16. Daily naps are becoming the norm.

17. You are on your 4th career.

18. Your boss was born the year you graduated high school.

19. Your advance directive is signed, sealed and delivered.

20. You have been invited as a ‘special guest’ to tour the new assisted living memory care facility.

But you know what? Despite it all, I am actually really happy to be in my 40’s. I have accomplished more in my life since turning the big 4-0 than I have in my 20’s and 30’s put together. Plus, anytime I do something that is shameless, shocking or flat out unheard of, I can blame it on my age.

It’s a win win.

Related post: How to Feel Old. Really Old. (I’m Sorry.)

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