These Weird Toddler Bedtime Routines Will Have You Howling

by Valerie Williams
Originally Published: 
Image via evgenyatamanenko/Getty Images/Reddit

Because little kids are just freaking strange sometimes

Kids are weird, am I right? They have weird routines and weird requests and insist on things that make absolutely no sense — especially at bedtime. When our parental defenses are down after a long day of tending to their every whim, it’s only natural that little kids would make us jump through hoops when the finish line is finally in sight. That’s why this post about strange toddler nighttime routines is hitting home with so many parents.

Redditor fishsocks posted about their son’s oddball habit of taking a specific piece of fruit to bed with him. They write, “Recently my son developed a ‘nighttime orange’ thing. He wants to hold an orange, in addition to his puppy, in bed. He doesn’t eat it, just holds it.”

As you do. Doesn’t everyone have an emotional support piece of produce they bring to bed? No? I have an emotional support bowl of ice cream, but that’s just me.

The original poster then asked fellow parents, “What oddball routine does your kid do or need to have at night to get to bed?” And they delivered.

This kiddo preferred a somewhat harder sleeping surface. Of course, not an actual mattress, are you crazy?

This actually sounds pretty reasonable and relaxing. Just a dab will do you.

Because what’s bedtime without a little acrobatics weaved into the routine?

Showing affection to the blankie collection is definitely strange, but like this poster says, not the weirdest thing ever. But 11 is a bit excessive.

OK, this actually makes a little sense. People have worry stones they hold onto and rub to help them relax. So he has a worry acorn. Stop judging, he’s doing his best.

Um, Te Fiti is the goddess of life, y’all. Vitamins help you live longer. Hello, this kid is a wise genius, not just a quirk-ball toddler.

Well. Water bottles need love and attention too? I guess?

An “oddly shaped hunk of junk” is how I describe my husband and I cling to him at night, LOL just kidding, but this is pretty funny and possibly the weirdest one of all.

Scratch that. These kiddos needing to touch random body parts on their poor parents take the cake.

Moral of the story? Kids are freaking strange, but at least it gives us stuff to laugh at while we’re wide awake and doing every puzzling thing they request so we can just get some god damn sleep.

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