What Kind of Parent Are You?

by Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 

A few weeks ago, I was sent a list of questions for an interview. They told me they were looking for fast answers, word association-ish. My kind of questions. I buzzed through the first 14, but the last one left me completely stumped: What kind of parent are you, it asked. What kind of parent am I? In a few words? What the hell kind of question is that?

I came back to it again and again, hoping for some sort of epiphany, but no spark of genius came to me. I settled on “I am a parent who tries,” but the question seemed to beg for so much more.

So, to answer the question in more than a few words….

I am a breastfeeding failure whose children still managed to thrive.

I am a parenting class drop-out.

I am an unintentional co-sleeper.

I am an out of frustration yeller.

I am an infrequent school volunteer-er.

I am a reluctant short order cook.

I am an unfortunate curser.

I am a thank you note believer, but often forgetter.

I am a Betty Crocker baker.

I am a laugher, at all the wrong moments.

I am an eye roller.

I am an incompetent homework helper.

I am a skip the bath if you’ve been to the pool believer.

I am a documenter of the little moments.

I am a lover of my children, but disliker of most others.

I am a non-bedmaker.

I a well intentioned mistake maker.

I am a laid back obsessor.

I am an over-bandager if it stops the crying.

I am a “tomorrow is a new day” vower.

Basically? I’m a parent who tries.

I guess my answer wasn’t that far off, after all.

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