Why I'm Bitter About Kim and Kanye's Pregnancy Announcement

Kim and Kanye are expecting baby number two.

Some of us may say:

Yay so happy! Another rapper/model/TV star in the making! Can’t wait to hear what Baby South will bring to our E! News update!

Meanwhile, we women who have been diagnosed with infertility see this as one big giant middle finger to our universe and want to say:

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!”

Don’t get me wrong, we are happy for those who are going to be experiencing motherhood. Whether it’s your first child, second, third, fourth, fifth…we want the best for everyone.

However, deep down, we get a little miffed when everyone but us can get knocked up.

We don’t mean to be rude or mean. Part of it is the Clomid (or whatever hormones to kill a horse that have been injected into us).

The other consistent problem are the continuous thoughts about:

What day is my cycle?

Am I ovulating? I think I might be ovulating. If I eat this, will it prevent me from getting pregnant? If I don’t eat this, will it help? Is this a sign of pregnancy? Is it a sign that Aunt Flow will be kicking down my door again? Will switching to this position help? I totally got pregnant doing that! Did that decrease my chance?

We eat, sleep and breathe trying to get pregnant. We’ve been putting our feet above our heads for too long and want to punch fertile Myrtle in the face. Sorry, not sorry!

Getting pregnant is hard. People who say that sex is the fun part of making the baby never had to try. The ones who act like simply taking away coffee and burning sage is the answer to getting fertile are the next layer in hell. Right under that layer are the unfit parents. They are the people we read about on the news who abuse and neglect their children.

Then we see the parents on celebrity magazines who use their children to decorate themselves as parents. After posing for the magazine and telling their readers how “blessed” being a mother is, they ask the nanny to whisk their precious DNA away while they likely spend hours in hair and makeup for another night on the town, posing for paparazzi. Then they write songs and dress their kid in the latest GUCCI outfit, so that makes it OK, right?

It’s a big joke, and we aren’t laughing right now. Maybe we do laugh and then start sobbing because yet again, we have to go through another month without being a member of the Expecting Club.

So excuse us. Excuse us if we angry. We are sexed out, tired of crossed fingers, and just want to hop on the same train Kim and Kanye are riding again.

Congrats to your family. We can’t wait to hear more about the arrival of the next piece in your baby compass. Just understand why I’m giving you the finger on your announcement.

Related post: The 8 Biggest Misconceptions About Infertility