This Woman's Epic Poop Story Has The Entire Internet Playing WWYD

by Maria Guido
Originally Published: 

Woman hides a piece of poop in her purse when her date’s toilet won’t flush

Nobody wants to poop in their man’s house on a first date — this is something we can all agree on, right? Yes, as the best children’s book ever written says, everyone poops, but that doesn’t mean you want to lead with that fact when you are embarking on a new relationship.

So what do you do when you’re on a first date, you’ve had too much coffee, and nature calls? If you’re Twitter user @_blotty, you use your date’s bathroom. Then you panic when the toilet won’t flush. A floater in a new beau’s toilet on a first date: it’s the first date quandary to end all quandaries.

Without further ado, the tale — told in a series of tweets:



LOL. Forever.

“WHAT IS HAPPENING?” This is every sister. Everywhere.


This story is everywhere and has the entire internet playing “What would you do?” I’m admittedly one of those who’s spent entirely too much time going back and forth with alternate scenarios this morning. Couldn’t she say she needed some fresh air and toss it into a bush? What exactly was going on with this toilet? Was there no plunger? Does she not know the trick to fill the tank with water so it flushes? So many questions. As someone who has dealt with many dirty diapers I can say with some confidence that I would throw that thing out the window before I would put it in my purse. Or — you know — leave it in the toilet.

What would you do????

Oh, @_blotty. You are a hero. Thank you for divulging this ridiculously embarrassing story and giving dating people everywhere another nightmare scenario to panic about. Also for the belly laugh so many of us desperately needed this week.

H/T Buzzfeed

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