Are you as tired of people getting intimidated by beautiful women and being dicks about it as I am? Because I’m over it. My fraternal twin sister, who I live with, came into my room crying earlier. It’s important to note real quick she is very pretty and has been all her life.
She’s a normal person, a mom who just wants to live her life and isn’t trying to constantly “be hot” even if she can’t help it. She’s also extremely weird (which surprises people–I guess hot girls are not supposed to be weird?) and has a sneeze like the wolf in “The Three Little Pigs.”
And that is a good enough segue into my question of the day: Can hot women get a break, please?
“Pretty Prejudice” happens. (Obviously, “pretty” itself is subjective, but people who tend to meet society’s traditional standards of beauty experience this most often.)
I mean, I know all women need a break. Being the Danny DeVito in this “Twins” situation, I’ve learned standing around as a woman is pretty much a grave offense in our world. But this specific issue of women getting judged and treated like crap for being pretty bothers me. I wish people could take a minute to get to know someone before they made decisions.
My sister disagrees with being bothered over the whole thing. “There are people with actual problems. I’m fine. It was just kind of embarrassing.”
And she’s right. “Pretty Prejudice” is a very first-world issue. You can’t even think about all the awful things happening every day without getting horribly depressed. And I mean depressed.
But it bothered my sister enough to make her cry, even if she bounced back fast. So, we’re going to talk about why it’s wrong because others out there can relate. When she knocked on my door, I moved my computer aside once she let herself in and sat on the bed. She never cries.
“Do you remember what I was wearing last Friday when I went into work?” she asked.
“No, I don’t. I’m sorry.”
My sister is like Cher Horowitz from “Clueless” and has a million outfits she never wears twice. They are all fabulous and conservative, a blend of stylish and professional. This day was different, I guess. Employees had to dress down. Still, I knew my sister would do her best to look one hundred percent not seductive.
I’ll hand it to women with this problem. I can only imagine how hard it is to dress a body that’s bodacious no matter what you put on it. That must suck when you’re trying to be serious about your work or have a down day.
Since when are combat boots and an oversized coat “scandalous”?
I saw the outfit in question, too.
My sister even put it on for me again. The baggy sweater, a pair of black leggings. “I was wearing steel-toed combat boots,” she said, her voice raised a little. “My hair was a mess, and I had a jacket over this sweatshirt, and somehow I’m ‘scandalous.’ I understand if I showed up in a skirt or something, but everyone wears leggings. Every other woman.”
When I asked to share a picture of her clothes, she said, “I don’t fucking care anymore.” Then she added, “Just don’t show my face.”
At least I got her to laugh when I caught her staring straight into space with her arms at her sides. She was practicing her scarecrow pose in the mirror, her glazed eyes the definition of “over it.”
It really was funny. Sometimes all you can do is laugh over the stupidity of it all, right? I let her vent because she needed it, even if her tears were now dry.
“My hair was a mess too. I made sure the sweater covered my butt. I’ve seen other women wear this when they have to go into the manufacturing zone.
“My boss called me and said all the men told her I was a distraction and that I’m showing off. I take a lot of pride in my job, and all they think of me is that I want attention. That made me so mad.
“I’m thirty-two and was wearing a hard hat. No, I want to do my job well and go home. I was excited about learning, too. Why would I be showing off for plumbers with their butt cracks out I’d never seen before? ‘The men were lookin,’ she said. Who? What men? I saw, like, four people the entire tour.”
Why are people so nasty to beautiful women?
Why are people so nasty to beautiful women? Why is there such a spotlight on them? If a pretty woman is wearing the same outfit as everyone else, I don’t see how the issue belongs to the woman. Do you?
It’s not like she showed up to the job site dressed as a Playboy bunny, unless, of course, she were a bunny. But no. In this case, the problem belongs to the people–both men and women–who make leggings a problem for one person.
They’re the kind of people who pull children out of class, kids who are only trying to learn, because of short shorts and tank tops. For leggings that are literally taking over the pants section in the girls’ and women’s sections of clothing stores. (Companies even make work yoga pants now because they’re comfortable as hell.)
But because “the boys are distracted,” women get in trouble.
Those aren’t even my words. That’s what people say to girls who are the “distractions.”
Boys, remember when the teacher would get that call? She would whisper on the phone for a while and send a girl to the office? What happens is, they take the poor girl into a room. Then, they tell her how inappropriate her outfit is and how “the boys are distracted.”
Then they ask if you brought a jacket or something to cover your shoulders. Guess how many times my sister had to wear a crusty sweatshirt? Once, until she was smart enough to try and look dumpy. She still got in trouble, too, and she wasn’t even trying. I remember I wore shorter shorts than she did, and crop tops, and no one cared. And it’s because I didn’t have the spotlight on me. You can fight me on that one, but it happens.
It’s the reason girls in schools are staging walkouts and creating campaigns against “slut shaming” dress codes. It’s why Scarlett Johannson bit back at pervy interview questions about going commando under the “Black Widow” suit, when everyone else got work questions.
I’ll advocate for the beautiful people.
Yes, it’s an “all girls” problem, but there is a heavy spotlight on certain girls. Pretty girls have their own fight and it needs to be addressed.
And that’s what I told my sister. “Those guys are the ones with a problem for turning that outfit into a problem. Why were they even looking? Why do they care so much?”
I’m out here advocating for those girls who have to deal with this. Goodness knows they can’t talk about it without everyone thinking they’re conceited. I can only imagine the struggle of trying to blend. And my sister tried very hard to blend that day, and as we tried to find outfits in her closet.
Every piece of clothing she put on, including her husband’s baggy work pants, made her butt look even better.
“I’m still gonna wear these pants Monday, I don’t care.”
Later, we tried to watch “Moulin Rouge” for ten minutes before she had to go to bed. She told me some wise words as she sipped at wine, and then asked if she could sing all the lyrics to the movie and grab my arm in excitement.
“I mean, I have pushed a human out of my vagine. I am not above anyone, I was not trying that day. I just wanted to come home and watch ‘Moulin Rouge’ again because that’s all I do.”
And then we did.
Update: Just now (Monday) she was almost late for work trying to make the pants and a polo look “appropriate” because it’s all she had. She looked cute, too. Appropriate. I had to talk her out of some camo pants that showed way too much ‘toe before so this was a win.
I have no advice, but I do have a reminder.
Some women really can’t help being attractive, and they shouldn’t be punished (or idolized) for that. But I have no idea how to make a beautiful woman feel better when people misjudge her. I’m just bad at advising in general.
What I can do, though, is remind everyone who might read this to remember to be a little kinder to people. Maybe try looking at their insides first if that’s something you struggle with, and it can be a serious struggle.
I think we all could use a reminder like that from time to time.