Recently I travelled to New York City, San Francisco and Ensenada. There were many similarities and differences in the locations. I loved my travels, but I know I will always return to the Midwest. It’s a great place to grow up and to grow old.
Do you share my loyalty to that special region? Here’s how you’ll know for sure. You might be from the Midwest if:
1. You pray for rain for the crops, and then pray for it to stop raining so the farmers can get back into their fields.
2. You think hurricanes and earthquakes sound very frightening, but when the tornado siren sounds you run to stand on the front porch and watch to see what happens.
3. You drive on more gravel roads than paved.
4. You’ve had to wait in a long line of cars to pass a combine on the highway.
5. You learned to drive a tractor before you drove a car.
6. You know which month of the year wheat, corn and soybeans are harvested and what time of the year everyone hauls hay.
7. You know what a feedlot smells like.
8. All the guys wear a ball cap and all the girls have windblown hair most of the time.
9. Most of the restaurants have catfish on the menu, and it is not weird to see frog legs on there too.
10. When a relative from another state visits, you take them cow tipping or snipe hunting.
11. You can buy fish bait from a cooler right next to the sandwiches at the convenience store.
12. There’s a pickup on every other corner in the summer selling vegetables or melons from the tailgate.
13. Getting dressed up means wearing jeans that are not faded yet, a shirt with buttons on it and polishing your boots.
14. You have slowed down to avoid hitting a turtle, snake, skunk, raccoon, possum, turkey or even a cow.
15. You have a tire swing and a half-finished tree house in your yard.
16. You grew up swimming in a pond or creek.
17. You have scraped cow manure off your boots.
18. You know what mountain oysters are.
19. The local veterinarian is on speed dial, and he knows right where you live when you tell him your name.
20. You know which side of a horse to mount and how to cinch a saddle.
21. You have played in a hayloft, gathered fresh eggs or been flogged by a rooster.
22. You have worked a pump handle and tasted well water.
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