If Moms Had 3D Printers

Supposedly, 3D printers are The Next Big Thing and have the potential to change the world. Without getting too technical, 3D printing is a process by which you design an object in a software program, send the data to what is essentially a robot in a box, and watch in awe as the robot builds your object layer by layer using various materials, such as liquid, paper, powder or metal.

In this early stage, people are printing silly things like plastic trinkets, but eventually, the things we print will be extraordinary. For example, a captain piloting a giant ocean cargo liner across the Atlantic today is SOL if an important part in the engine fails, but once he has a 3D printer on board, he can print an exact replica and be back up and running in 12 to 24 hours. In the medical field, researchers are trying to figure out how to print internal organs and body parts using a patient’s own cells, and aerospace engineers are hoping 3D printing can lower some of their manufacturing costs.

That’s great, but has anyone given any thought to how 3D printing could help all the Moms out there? I mean, collectively, we are an enormous group–there are probably more Moms in New Jersey than there are shipping captains, thoracic surgeons and aerospace engineers in the entire world. If I were trying to sell 3D printers, the first group I would target would be Moms for sure.

Seriously, think of the possibilities…

1. All the missing Legos.

2. Clean soccer uniforms.

3. A gift for the birthday party that starts in 10 minutes.

4. Wine.

5. Coffee.

6. AA Batteries.

7. The missing TV remote.

8. The sock monkey we lost on vacation in 2012.

9. Super Nanny.

10. Dinner for five.

When my children were babies, I would have set the 3D printer on fire by using it so much…

1. A clean binky.

2. Diapers (obviously).

3. The rubber thing that attaches to the underside of the sippy cup lid so it won’t leak.

4. Socks that stay on chubby infant feet.

5. A nursing bra that fits properly and provides support.

6. Ear plugs.

7. Scratch-proof DVDs.

8. A reliable birth control method.

9. A refrigerator lock my kids can’t beat.

10. Amoxicillin.

Oh, technology. I’m excited just thinking about it.