5 Reasons Parents of Toddlers are Just Like Spies

by Jennifer Oradat
Originally Published: 

Do you ever watch a James Bond movie and think I could do that?

Well, if you’re the parent of a toddler, you already possess a set of highly desirable skills that any covert agent on the planet would be proud to master. In fact, you could probably teach them a new trick or two.

So move over, 007. Here are 5 ways that the parents of toddlers are just like spies.

1. You communicate in code. You can’t risk the enemy kids intercepting sensitive information, so you and your partner developed a classified code to pass messages back and forth. Communications like “it’s time for an N-A-P” and “someone wants another S-N-A-C-K” go undetected by sensitive ears.

2. You go deep undercover. The master of disguises has nothing on you. You have passed yourself off convincingly as everything from an insectoid superhero fighting radioactive ninjas to a pretty, pretty princess at the world’s most important tea party. You protected your cover at all costs.

3. You have access to an arsenal. There are plenty of weapons to choose from, but your first choice is the pacifier that your child just can’t seem to live without. At the first sign of distress, you identify your target and aim the weapon to intersect. Bullseye.

4. You participate in covert ops. Misdirection and distraction are only two tools in your repertoire, but they’re the ones you use most when you want to leave the house alone. You’ll use anything at hand to keep those little eyes focused somewhere else, then make your escape in stocking feet with your keys clasped in your fist to keep from jangling. There is no time to take a breath until you close the door silently behind you. Congratulations, you have escaped with your life.

5. You pay the price of entering into the clandestine services. That price is anonymity. No one will know the details of the things that you have had to do to complete your mission, or the ways that you have questioned your goals. The public will only know that there are people like you out there, fighting and sacrificing for the benefit of us all.

Thank you for your service.

Related post: The 10 Dumbest Things I’ve Said to My Toddlers

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