No Parent Owes You A Treat Bag On A Plane Because They Have A Baby

It’s summer, and that means travel, and for parents, that means one of my least favorite things: defending my right to travel with children. Specifically, against people who think I’m entitled for having the audacity to *checks notes* have my family on public transportation. Because, apparently, they believe they’re entitled to an experience free from inconvenience.

Make it make sense!

But don’t worry: not everyone is out to get you, parents. In fact, folks like Emma Hughes (@nurturedbyemma on Instagram), a nanny and doula, have defended our right to fly the friendly skies, and we recommend checking out this pep talk ahead of any travel plans you might have over the next few months.

It begins with a stitch of a gentleman flying, touched by a gift he was given by a mom traveling with her infant: a bag of little treats with a note that explains this is the little one’s first flight and to please be patient.

“I am quite literally begging us to stop normalizing this,” Hughes interjects, continuing, “If you are bothered by babies and kids on planes, you can just remember that you are entitled to a child-free life; you are not entitled to a child-free world.”

“Babies and kids are people, too,” she explains. “They’re human beings and, as human beings, they have just as much of a right to be in public spaces as any other member of the public. And if that bothers you then that’s a you problem.”

Amen. Can we get a budget somewhere for a PSA campaign to explain this to the masses of grumpy, poorly regulated adults who foam at the mouth when they think about the existence of someone under 18 at 30,000 feet?

“Moms already have enough on their plates,” Hughes adds. “They don’t need any more. ... Unfortunately, we have an epidemic of grown adults who act like children. If you as an adult can’t act like an adult then I do not see from what grounds you think you have the right to expect a child to act like an adult.”

Of course this doesn’t give parents carte blanche to let their kids be a menace: you still have to parent. But there has to be some understanding that kids are operating with a different level of skills and brain development.

“We’ve gotten into this mindset where we don’t owe anybody anything,” she says. “But you do. ... You owe people kindness, you owe people decency, and you owe people a basic sense of respect. And if you can’t muster that up, just maybe go live in the woods somewhere.”

Look, friends: no one enjoys having to listen to a baby cry on an airplane. Know who’s even less happy though? That baby, who can’t help it, and the parents who are doing (I promise) everything possible to soothe them (whether or not you recognize or appreciate their efforts. The same goes for the toddler to early grade schooler whose frontal cortex is, at this point, barely set Jell-O.

If you, a parent, are going to hand out anything on a plane, let it be a pair of big-kid pants for every poorly regulated adult on your flight so they can put them on and just deal with it.