9 Signs Your Teenager Is Really a Toddler In Disguise

by Karl Greenberg
Originally Published: 

How can you prevent your teen from becoming an infant once more? No clue. But I can at least help you identify the symptoms of Never-Grow-Up-Itis.

You know your teenager has a bad case of it when:

1. You find yourself on late at night typing “Do they make high chairs in an extra large?”

2. You realize it’s called the “Terrible Twos” because it happens twice.

3. His taste in movies makes The Care Bears look like Fellini.

4. The kid is teething again. With bubble gum.

5. A year away from voting and she thinks Taylor Swift represents New York in Congress.

6. She’s obsessed with her hair but has never actually brushed it.

7. He calls his room a “crib.”

8. He still doesn’t know how to tie his frigging shoes. Oh wait, it’s a fashion statement.

9. When you hear her go into the kitchen you call the fire department and tell them to stand by.

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