A Letter To Myself, Before Becoming A Mom

by Allison Cooper for Ravishly
Originally Published: 

Motherhood is magical, but sometimes we get lost in the chaos of it and forget the person that we were, before we gave birth to the person we’re often holding. Sometimes we need to look back and reconnect with who we were, our goals, our likes and dislikes, and merge that with the mother we are today.

Dear Mom,

Motherhood is tough. You are learning that all the time. Exhaustion sometimes overcomes you, and you get lost in the day to day. Don’t forget to look up, and look at the big picture — focus on all the goals and excitement you had before you gave birth and cherish every moment passing you by, because it goes by way too fast.

Some days I don’t even recognize you. You don’t even recognize yourself. You have changed and morphed into a different person in amazing ways, as motherhood has a way of molding you into the best version of yourself — but you’re tired and sometimes need an extra boost, an extra reminder of all the amazing things you do each day, each piece of the glue that holds your family together. That’s an awful lot of weight to bear on your shoulders. Don’t forget that you’re not doing it alone.

There are days when you look in the mirror at yourself, nights when you look at your husband, and moments when you squeeze your son that you wonder if you have anything left to give. You have given so much to being a mom that there are moments when you lose sight of it all. Don’t lose sight of me, the person that you were before and the things that made your happy. Don’t let me disappear.

Seek balance, not perfection. You are much too hard on yourself. You rise each morning with anticipation of the day, then get discouraged when your to-do list is incomplete. Your family is happy and healthy, everyone’s hearts and bellies are full each day, and that’s all that will ever matter. Slow down and enjoy the laughter — the way you did before you had any care in the world.

I want you to know that it’s OK to be tired and it’s OK to slow down, but it’s also OK to have fun. I know that those late nights out partying have transitioned into binge-watching Netflix with your husband after finally getting homework done with your son, and dreaming about when the right time to get pregnant again will be. There is nothing wrong with change and loving each moment the way you did before, embrace the change and let it wash over you.

Most of all, motherhood looks good on you. Motherhood works for you. You know it, and everyone around you knows it.


Your Pre-Motherhood Self

This post first appeared on Ravishly.

Also from Ravishly: I Have A Mom Butt, And It’s OK • Things I Said I Would Never Do (And Then Did) • It’s Time To Banish Mommy Guilt

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