These Exist, And We Just Feel Like You Need To See Them

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 

My late-night Amazon scrolls lead me down some weird roads at times, and I stumble upon things that make me go “Oh god, why?” but then I can’t possibly keep these things to myself. I must spread the good news. Or the good laugh.

In this case, it’s the latter option.

I mean, how else would you know that animal print underwear with ears exist? You pick your favorite animal, and its face goes directly over your lady garden, and also your buttocks where the ears poke out over the top.


I’m partial to the squirrel, but the hilarious pussy cat innuendo isn’t lost on me, so I’m a champion for this little gem as well.


This is still hilarious enough that I’m feeling the need to surprise my husband. (Surprise! There’s a trash panda on my crotch. Surprise! There’s also one on my ass. And it has ears. Wiggle wiggle.)

Or gift a pair to my best friend at her upcoming bachelorette party.

Or take them to the next white elephant gift exchange.

Or wear them the next time people try to sell me shit during nap time, because that will scare them off for good.

Or send my husband a pair at work. Because my sense of humor is warped, and I envision him opening up the box and holding them up to figure out what the hell is actually happening, just long enough to catch the curious eye of his office mates and realize that his obnoxious wife has duped him again…

Or maybe he wants is own pair of boxes. Because why should we have all the fun?


So maybe just don’t take my advice and figure out how you can incorporate these hilarious things into your own life, on your own terms. The world needs more laughter and joy and animal-faced underwear with ears, people.

Behold, a few more options for your pleasure…

Pussy (cat) underwear. Because of course.


And dogs.


And raccoons.


How can you be mad when you are packing your favorite animal in your pants?

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