How adorable is this little teenager? Long blonde curly hair, chipped black nail polish, make up all done, dancing her heart out on stage.
I bet you didn’t know that she’s ten weeks pregnant.
Or that she mustered up the courage to tell her parents she’s pregnant, by a boy they’ve never met, one week ago.
That she just told her dance coach she won’t be dancing after today.
That this week, a girl got suspended for verbally abusing her, threatening to kill her and her baby because she wouldn’t get an abortion.
That the biological father hasn’t spoken to her in four weeks when she called and told him the news.
That two girls left a voicemail on her home phone number telling her parents their daughter is a whore, while laughing and hanging up.
I bet you didn’t know it took her four years to admit that it was a date rape.
Or that she was at a party and had too much to drink. Smoked a little too much weed, and blacked out. That he carried her to the bed and her whole body felt like jello as he moved himself inside her.
That she woke up naked next to this boy who was popular and on the football team, who looked at her like another accomplishment.
That he laughed when she told him the news.
That she lost countless friends.
That she was kicked out of her youth group on the spot when she told them the news.
That her teachers let the bullying continue throughout her entire pregnancy.
That the father only met the child once at nine months old.
That he signed over his rights when she was four years old.
That it took her three years of therapy just to admit it was rape to herself, four years to speak it out loud, and almost five to tell her parents the truth.
That she still has issues in her sex life and marriage over a decade later.
That people still give her dirty looks in her small hometown.
You didn’t know that, did you?
Because all you saw was just another pregnant teenager.
Using her WIC to buy formula in the grocery store.
Going to check-ups at the health department alone.
Dropping her baby off at day care everyday so that she could go to college.
Accepting government assistance to get by.
What you didn’t see was her becoming a single mother at the age of 17.
Or graduating nursing school with honors at age 22 with a three-year-old in tow.
Or meeting a wonderful man and becoming a wife by age 23.
Having a second child by age 24.
Even though this cute little girl is now a woman with long blonde curly hair, and loves to dance, she is 15 pounds heavier, with two precious kids, and a loving family she wouldn’t trade for anything.
She still goes to counseling.
She is still overcoming the trauma.
Still has nightmares, triggers, and bad days, but has learned to overcome them.
To depend on her husband and her family to help her cope through the tough times.
She’s not just another pregnant teenager.
She’s an overcomer.
We are Scary Mommies, millions of unique women, united by motherhood. We are scary, and we are proud. But Scary Mommies are more than “just” mothers; we are partners (and ex-partners), daughters, sisters, friends… and we need a space to talk about things other than the kids. So check out our Scary Mommy It’s Personal Facebook page. And if your kids are out of diapers and daycare, our Scary Mommy Tweens & Teens Facebook page is here to help parents survive the tween and teen years (aka, the scariest of them all).