The Internet Is Aghast At The Cost Of Apple's New AirPods Max

Apple’s New AirPods Max look just like old school headphones

A few years ago Apple unveiled AirPods, those teeny tiny little cordless buds you stick in your ears and are destined to lose so you are forced to keep buying more and ensure your eternal financial devotion to Apple. Now, in a very bizarre twist, Apple just released AirPods Max, which are basically just giant oversized old-school headphones and they’re retailing for $549, because like we said, eternal financial devotion to Apple.

Per Apple, these new headphones look just like the Samsung/Bose/Beats ones you threw out last ear because they were too bulky, but apparently the AirPods Max’s are worth their insane price tag because they “bring the magic of AirPods to an over-ear design with high-fidelity sound,” and lol sorry, they lost me at “the magic of AirPods.” We’re talking about headphones, people, calm down.

AirPods Max contain “adaptive EQ, Active Noise Cancellation, Transparency mode, and spatial audio,” which is a bunch of words I don’t really understand, but according to people who ARE into headphones, it’s apparently a big deal.

“AirPods are the most popular headphones in the world, beloved for their effortless setup, incredible sound quality, and iconic design. With AirPods Max, we are bringing that magical AirPods experience to a stunning over-ear design with high-fidelity audio,” Apple said in a statement.

These Bluetooth headphones come in five colors (Space Grey, Silver, Sky Blue, Green and Pink) and will be available for purchase on December 15, 2020, and despite the fancy rollout, most of the internet responded to the ultra pricey AirPods Max news with a resounding “Huh?”

“$549 for the AirPods Max, I better be able to hear my loved ones in the afterlife,” wrote a Twitter user.

One person even found a car from 2001 on-sale for the same price as these damn headphones.

Others simply wondered how these headphones would be significantly better than all the similar “over ear” headphones already on the market that are much more affordable.

The other wild thing about these headphones is that they come with a case, which honestly looks like a little purse and I don’t hate it, though I’m imagining a lot of people will. Kind of giving me flashes of early aughts Dooney & Bourke over-the-shoulder bags, which is very antithetical to Apple’s whole minimalist aesthetic.

Some have jokingly dubbed it the AirPurse.

Also, the case straight-up looks like a bra too, so there’s that.

Despite all the side-eye from the internet, Apple insists that these headphones will “wirelessly deliver the ultimate personal listening experience.” Also RIP to everyone’s bank accounts when suddenly every tween and teen adds the AirPods Max to their 2020 Christmas wish list.