Buckle up, because this woman’s in-laws really don’t seem to care if they kill her
Even if you have a good relationship with your in-laws, it probably took a little work to get there. Or, at the very least, there have been one or two things that have led to hurt feelings or a misunderstanding. Well, those types of mild but common in-law scenarios are not at all what this “Ask Polly” letter was about. Because one woman says her in-laws not only refuse to accommodate her food allergy, which is extremely deadly, but that they actively use the food in all of their cooking when she comes over for dinner.
The letter starts with an explanation of the letter writer’s allergy to mushrooms.
“I have a very severe allergy to mushrooms. I carry an EpiPen, and I have been hospitalized multiple times because of exposure to this food. One time, I began convulsing in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. My husband politely explained this to his parents when we started dating, and I was invited to family meals.”
This is the most unhinged Ask Polly letter I've ever received, hands down. https://t.co/IMcgxMcWDJ
— Heather Havrilesky (@hhavrilesky) August 7, 2019
Oddly, her in-laws didn’t seem too concerned that their son’s wife could literally die before their eyes if she consumed food that contains mushrooms. So unconcerned, in fact, that they found a way to incorporate mushrooms INTO EVERY DISH they’ve served since learning about the allergy.
“One time, they made a point to make a special plate of mushrooms and pass it around. My mother-in-law said, very rudely, ‘I would’ve liked to add mushrooms directly to the salad, but SOMEBODY has problems with it!’ They even added mushroom powder to the mashed potatoes at one holiday dinner.“
The letter writer says she has had to literally hold her breath when the mushrooms, a Murder Family staple, were passed in front of her at the table. Her husband has confirmed that he did not grow up eating mushrooms with the regularity his parents now apparently do — interesting, no?
When her husband confronted his parents, they still refused to keep the meals allergy-free when they were visiting. The sister-in-law has also lambasted the letter writer, accusing her of overreacting about it.
You know, as we all overreact about not wanting to die. Whew. In-laws, amiright?
The letter writer expresses sadness and frustration over this horrific matter, as anyone with sense of rationality and logic would. She says her in-laws refuse to see their grandkids and her husband’s siblings no longer have a relationship with them. All because their parents refuse to honor a simple request of not poisoning their daughter-in-law to death.
All in all, it’s a very stressful predicament to even read, let alone live through, and the entire internet is in the letter writer’s corner. Because this advice column really took a turn here.
I can tell you right now those crazy in-laws are "testing" her allergy because they don't think it's real or serious. I have a family member who tries to sneak coconut into stuff so she can GOTCHA another relative with a moderate allergy. It's absolutely insane.— ✨ ashley ✨ (@AshleyEsqueda) August 7, 2019
People who do that are often shocked when that trick leads to a hospital visit— ❄Mikki Kendall❄ (@Karnythia) August 7, 2019
Seems like they resent her for the love her husband feels for her and are experiencing his relationship to her as a loss of control, which they are trying to reassert in this way. They should never go over again.— Alexander Chee (@alexanderchee) August 7, 2019
The mushroom powder in the mashed potatoes, in particular, blew my wig back.— Joseph Hernandez (@joeybear85) August 7, 2019
My niece has a life-threatening airborne peanut allergy, so like the writer, can’t even smell them. It’s incredible how assy people, grown people, can be about it, but nothing as bad as the writer’s in-laws!— Maggie Hendricks (@maggiehendricks) August 7, 2019
you can be charged for less this is straight UP homicidal behavior omfg— Devan Boyle (@devanboyle) August 7, 2019
Someone did this to my aunt many years ago (convinced that he would say aha! It was all in your head!) and slipped a shrimp into her soup or something while she was in the bathroom. They had to call an ambulance to the restaurant. I don’t think the guy got a second date.— Jackie Mittman (@jmittman) August 7, 2019
As Heather Havrilesky, aka the “Polly” of “Ask Polly,” says in her extremely validating and justifiably bewildered response, the letter writer should feel exactly zero guilt in her “role” in the rift between her husband and his family: “Your in-laws are next-level, off-the-charts batshit. You’re not the cause of this rift. The cause of this rift is TRULY TERRIBLE HUMAN BEINGS.”
Polly also advises that she and her husband write them a letter, venting out their feelings, and then never look back again. “God only knows what brought them to this, but your only recourse is to stay the fuck away,” she says. “I just want to recommend that you take caution. You are dealing with some next-level sociopaths. You need to protect yourself accordingly.”
Preferably as far away from them and their mushroom-powdered mashed potatoes (which, what in the name of Karen’s Potato Salad even is that recipe??) as possible.