When it comes to opinions on picking that perfect baby name, the funny people of Twitter are always ready to offer their expertise … like everyone else in the world.
Whether you’ve already named your kids, are in the process of choosing a baby name, or just have a list at the ready (since you were like twelve, be honest), you’ll laugh at these tweets about the whole process.
They say baby naming is an art — and, like any other art form, people like to get creative.
I mean, if you don’t take the risk …
I regret not being more creative with baby names, I fantasize about saying, “Please meet my baby, Kitchenette.”
— Olive Gravy (@offbeatoliv) January 26, 2019
Speaking of kitchens, here’s a novel way to whip up a creative name.
Plot twist: McKimberlynn makes it to the top 10 baby names for 2019
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 4, 2019
Who knows, perhaps the ultimate baby name inspo could come straight from the crisper drawer.
Wonder how long it'll take for my pregnant friend to realize that the list of baby name ideas I'm giving her are all just types of lettuce?
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) May 3, 2017
Or, you could just consult your nearest dictionary of medical terms. “Time for bed, Edema!”
I think we can all agree that most medical terms would make very cute baby names.
— Stacey Harkey (@StaceyHarkey) March 11, 2019
No matter where your inspiration comes from, creative naming isn’t going to be everybody’s cup of tea.
Me: LAVEAH. KAVEAH. HAVEAH.
Friend: What are you doing?
Me: Summoning a demon.
Friend, looking at screen: This is just a website of unusual baby names.
— Betty (@BoomBoomBetty) October 15, 2018
And you might wanna think about the actual bearer of the name who will have to live with it every day forever.
think a larger conversation needs to be had about acceptable baby names.
a guy whose name translates to “lamp” https://t.co/2H3OHqplxp
— Siraj Hashmi (@SirajAHashmi) February 27, 2019
But don’t try to get away with using a normal name and fancying up the spelling.
Be open to the suggestions of your significant other … or not.
hope my future husband doesn’t have any baby names in mind bc we’re going with the ones i’ve had planned for years
— honeybun. (@_ThaSmurfette) February 8, 2019
I already have baby names picked out for my future kids so my future husband better not even try and tell me the ones he likes because we’re going with mine
— alondra (@TheAloDiaries) February 26, 2019
If my future spouse doesn't like any of my favorite baby names we're just gonna have to compromise and use all of my favorite baby names
— emily (@emruler) July 23, 2018
The fact is, no matter what you name your kid, there will always be haters.
It's getting harder to lie about liking everyone's dumb baby names.
— Jane (@jane_bot) January 27, 2019
But you can just tell those nosy Nellies to get bent.
Why do people even have the audacity to tell you they don’t like the baby names you picked out? Is it your baby??! Nooo! How rude to even say “oh I don’t really like that” well good for fucking you move along now peasant
— roxy ✨ (@roxynass13) March 24, 2019
Because the real test of a baby name isn’t whether other people like it … it’s how it sounds when it’s yelled.
Trying to pick baby names. My main test is imagine he just did something bad and yell it out to see how it rolls off my tongue.
— Wesley Chu (@wes_chu) March 8, 2019
My husband is currently testing our list of baby names while driving by yelling them at the back seat to see how it sounds.
— Emily Best (@emilybest) January 10, 2019
… Or cooed, or snarled.
When choosing your baby’s name, practice saying it with different inflections. Coo it sweetly. Call it sternly. Snarl it so that it drips with the venom of a thousand cobras.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) February 21, 2018
In the end, no matter how much planning and testing you put in, it probably won’t fulfill all your lofty expectations anyway.
You study and plan and try out all sorts of baby names, carefully selecting the perfect one, only to get to the playground and find every third dog has the same name.
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) November 21, 2018
But then, parenthood itself is almost never what you expect it to be.
Naming your baby can be a stressful process, but reading tweets from similarly stressed-out prospective parents makes it seem a little less daunting. And ultimately, the name you choose will be perfect. Unless you choose it from the lettuce drawer, that is.
Need some inspiration? Check out fun lists and thousands of names at Scary Mommy’s baby name database!