Stiletto Crocs Because Why The F*ck Not

by Valerie Williams
Originally Published: 
Image via Balenciaga

Balenciaga has created stiletto Crocs and like, what have we got to lose?

If you’d like your entire shoe wardrobe to be made of plastic and full of holes, you’re in luck. Croc-inspired stiletto shoes now exist.

Because what adult woman doesn’t want to look like a real-life Barbie once in a blue moon?

In the world of plastic shoes, Crocs are basically queen, but fancy-schmancy designer Balenciaga apparently refuses to let the OG purveyor of Swiss cheese-inspired kicks be the only ones to profit from the comfy-meets-stylish trend. They brought us Croc-like platform shoes for the extremely reasonable price of $850 (I need a sarcasm font) and now? Croc-like stilettos. For those formal occasions when you’re all, “Sure. Let them think I’ve lost my fucking mind.”

At the moment, it’s not entirely clear when or if these pink, plastic, whimsical little numbers will be available for sale, and if not, Balenciaga is just having a blast trolling the shit of us because they keep teasing the childish pumps on their Instagram account. What the hell, we’re totally here for it.

Like, hello. It’s called fashion. Look it up.

“Hello? My sanity, is that you? Not today, thanks.” *hangs up abruptly*

Us mere mortals without a spare $850 to set on fire will certainly scoff at whatever cost these sexy stilettos will be sold for, but thankfully, Crocs did hear our plea for shoes to wear with dresses that have a bit more class than their usual offerings. You can currently purchase super comfy-looking high-heeled Crocs made by the company themselves for $80 a pop. They can go from ballroom to beach, no prob. What a time to be alive.

Image via Amazon

Look, times are weird, you guys. Donald Trump is president and the Queen of England is throwing him shade. The Backstreet Boys are cool again (OK, actually, they were never not cool). Weird bloggers are telling us men don’t like our debt and tattoos. Obviously we’re living in some version of the Upside Down, so we may as well just wear plastic shoes 24/7 so we can cope. Your feet (and your fashion sense) will thank you.

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