Bath & Body Works just dropped its new fall scents, and we’re already drifting into an autumnal alternate reality
Are you ready to shake off the stench of 2020? Put the alarming garbage fire that has been the past seven months behind you for a fragrant moment — Bath & Body Works has delivered the perfect solution for smudging the hell out of this godforsaken year: its new fall candles and scents. Time to let the sweet smell of pumpkin-scented wax wash over you like manna from the heavens!
So, we’ve still got a few solid months until we reach the most glorious season of all. Who cares? We desperately need to pretend like what has transpired thus far this year was all just a terrible nightmare, and that the world is actually worthy of delightful things like cinnamon and sweaters and crisp brown leaves and maple syrup.
And because Bath & Body Works is a generous enabler of our fall-centric denial, they’ve already introduced a slew of new fall products with more on the way. We’ve picked the ones that really suit our dystopian moods for your narcotizing pleasure.
Pumpkin Apple aka I Haven’t Hugged A Friend In Three Months
The Pumpkin Apple candle (or what we’re calling it — The “I Haven’t Hugged A Friend In Three Months” candle) ($24.50) may not have the articulating limbs required to wrap you in a warm embrace, but it does have hints of Red Delicious apples and clove buds. Plus, there’s nothing stopping you from giving it a hug. See? Comfort!
Flannel aka Sullen Lumberjack Is My New Lewk
At times like these, who can be bothered with trivialities like when you last washed your favorite pair of buffalo-plaid PJs? Or shaved your legs? And, really, who cares when you’ve got the heady scents of fresh bergamot and heirloom mahogany burning in the background ($24.50)?
Pumpkin Donut aka I’ve Gained 20 Pounds And DGAF
Let’s be real: Pumpkin Donut ($24.50) might as well be the mascot of the coronavirus quarantine. At this point in lockdown, the traditional blood types have been replaced by glazed, creme-filled, frosted, and cruller.
Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin aka Coffee Is My Only Salvation
With essences of warm cinnamon, fresh ground clove, vanilla cream, and brown sugar, the Cinnamon Pumpkin candle ($24.50) could only be made better if you could literally drink it out of a mug (with several shots of espresso, natch).
Pumpkin Pecan Waffles aka There’s a Brunch-Sized Hole in My Heart
Since you can’t toss back bottomless mimosas with your besties on a hungover Saturday right now, try basking in the scent of this decadent delight ($24.50) instead. Praise be for brunch vibes!
Pumpkin Peanut Brittle aka I’m Going Nuts
No, like, really. Which makes this new fall scent ($24.50) super on-the-nose. Just like the peanuts that inspired it, everyone is salty in 2020.
Caramel Pumpkin Swirl aka Yes, Netflix — I’m Still Watching
What’s cozier than luscious caramel, ground cinnamon, rich brown sugar, and creamy vanilla? Let this little treasure ($24.50) envelop you with all the autumn feels while you binge-watch Gilmore Girls for the 100th time.
Blueberry Maple Pancakes aka Cankles Are a Symbol of the Resistance
If the torrid affair you’ve been carrying on with breakfast food during the coronavirus pandemic is fizzling, keep the love alive with this indulgent candle ($24.50).
Sweater Weather aka HAHAHA REMEMBER GOING OUT?
Gotta joke to keep from crying, right friends? If you need us, we’ll be bawling-slash-laughing over this woodsy combo of fresh sage, juniper berry, and eucalyptus ($24.50).
You can shop the entire new Bath & Body Works fall collection here.
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