From The Confessional: Moms Reveal Their Best Bedtime Sh*tshow Stories

by Cassandra Stone
Anders Andersson/Getty

If bedtime in your house is Meltdown Central, you’re not alone

There is nothing more sacred than sleep, especially for parents. Unfortunately, children everywhere don’t seem to be receptive to this memo and fight it tooth and nail in households all over the world. While we don’t know why they don’t want to embrace the luxury of cozily falling asleep and getting some much-needed rest (FOMO, most likely), fighting bedtime is a common occurrence in children of all ages.

Maybe you deal with a full-on, no-holds-barred tantrum every single night. A knock-down, drag-out, drag-me-to-bed kind of scenario. Or maybe you have a Staller. You know, the kid who suddenly needs 56 drinks, 12 stories, and has to begin and finish a number of Very Important Tasks before finally agreeing to lie down in bed before getting up six more times before falling asleep.

Regardless, if you’re a parent of a child toddler-age and older, getting them to sleep every single night can sometimes feel like a Herculean task.

Bedtime will be the death of me. Just go the fuck to sleep!

Confessional #25810984

Dear god, please never let my toddler remember what a horrible impatient raging crazy person I have become during this pandemic. Naptime and bedtime are HORRIFIC. I hate myself for flipping my shit but I really feel like I’m losing it. I need HELP.

Confessional #25809083

Bedtime is a two hour ordeal at my house. Anyone else?

Confessional #25801142

Sometimes, the spouses (*cough* cishet men *cough*) are worse than the kids.

W&SAHW. I hate Sundays. EVERYTHING is about H. HIS uniform washed, HIS lunch made, HIS bedtime observed, etc - and he handles NONE of it. Before marriage, Sunday meant relaxation. Now I can’t wait for him to leave on Monday, and it’s HIS own damned fault.

Confessional #25804736

Asshole DH trying to start fights w/me bc I made him do bedtime routine tonight-HE said he’d start doing bt the other day since I don’t let him have time w/ them & now he’s mad bc I expect him to do what he said he would. Wish I’d married someone better.

Confessional #25802911

H late home from work, again. I think he's avoiding bath & bedtime stories. It's the ONLY job he has with the children HE wanted. Like every other 'job' he agreed to do, I've ended up doing it. I'm just a house slave, something I swore I'd never be.

Confessional #25796501

I have 3 kids. Unfortunately, the oldest is a moron and cant be dependable to count on for the younger 2, despite the age gap. Cant figure out bedtime, meals, nap time, etc, even when given explicit directions. BTW, my oldest is also sadly my husband.

Confessional #25786895

Raise your hand if you’ve given your child a melatonin gummy because you didn’t know what else to do — these moms sure have.

I occasionally give my 4yo a 1mg melatonin sleep gummy to make bedtime easier. I feel like a terrible mom, but sometimes I'm just so tired.

Confessional #25799027

Bedtime is the worst part of being a parent. If I had known how fucking miserable I’d be every single night, I would not have had kids.

Confessional #25794288

Bedtime was a nightmare today, i almost slapped my toddler to sleep. Seriously, 2.5 hours to sleep?! What are you, an owl?!

Confessional #25786761

When you have more than one kid you have to battle every single night, well, you’re braver than the troops if you’re not losing your sh*t.

I do not care about screen time or bedtime or what you eat... please brush your teeth 3 times a week

Confessional #25779118

I really fucking hate bedtime, little fuckers just running all around. Just GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!!!!!

Confessional #25778665

my 2.6 yr old fights every nap and bedtime. I just laid in bed with her for TWO. HOURS. while she fought going to sleep. i am reaching the end of my rope and i cannot deal!! like i cant breathe right now from the stress and anger of it

Confessional #25777193

It’s no secret that little ones need all the rest they can get to develop healthy sleeping habits that will set them up for good sleep for life. This is inarguably important.

It’s also damn near impossible for a lot of parents.

I'm a weed after bedtime mom and I'm not ashamed

Confessional #25769391

My son wouldn’t lay down tonight at bedtime, he just kept getting up and crying, I snapped and went off slapped myself in front of him. I feel like a piece of shit.

Confessional #25763632

DH, if you’re hoping to get laid tonight, screaming at the kids to get them moving through the bedtime routine faster is a total turn-off. Ugh.

Confessional #25763000

Regular bedtime rituals and routines are one way to tackle the bedtime problem. Predictability cuts down on anxiety for kids (and grown-ups, let’s be honest) and it gives them a semblance of control over the situation.

These moms are fed up with trying to do the whole routine thing. And who could blame them?

Am I the only one whose kids hear the word "bedtime" and decide to beat the shit out of eachother?

Confessional #25762756

How does everyone else have kids who sleep... then there's me pleading with my 2 year old at midnight to go to bed. I'm exhausted and just want one night without a bedtime battle.

Confessional #25758977

I follow the same f-ing routine for bedtime. Why does it work magically most of the time and then just epically NOT others? Right now is one of the NOTS and I'm losing my mind. Go the F to sleep!

Confessional #25753864

Cheers to bedtime squabbles, tantrums, stalling, and screaming. At least you’re not alone, right?