Sometimes tossing a salad is not just for the dinner table. However, some people do enjoy eating ass on said table. I’m talking about analingus: AKA booty munching or rimming.
Before you throw up in your mouth (or throw your mouth onto someone’s anus), there are a few things to know. The first is that there’s no shame in any sexual act between consenting adults. We crave touch. Some touch is sensual and some is erotic, but touch can’t be enjoyed unless all parties are on board. No matter what you’re into, lean in, because I have a tip: consent is sexy AF. If you or your partner are interested in something that may veer outside of what may be considered “normal” sex, you will likely need to have more conversations before attempting the act. Butt play is likely one of those topics that will require some pre-game planning. Here’s what to consider.
It’s Not Gay
Anal play can be explored through penetration with toys, fingers, or penis, but penetration is not a must if you are curious about butt stuff. Rimming can involve penetrating the anus with the tongue, but much of the focus is on kissing and licking the anus and other areas of the bum. There is a stigma among cisgender straight men having their asses touched as if anal play is gay.
No sexual act contains a sexual orientation or can be defined through gender identity. It’s not the act that defines one’s sexual identity, and this is easily verified by scrolling through the categories on your favorite porn site. There are a whole lot of combinations of people giving and receiving rim jobs. So let go of any preconceived notions or heteronormative ideas about what is “gay” and don’t be afraid to explore one of your body’s most sensitive areas. Dr. Evan Golstein, founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical and The Future Method says in an article for Men’s Health, “[The anus] is a highly erogenous zone with a plethora of nerve endings.”
Before You Explore
Before even touching another person’s anus, you need to ask permission. And just because you are in the mood to have your butthole licked doesn’t mean your partner or partners are willing to put their tongue there. Some sexual partners may not be interested in rimming under any circumstances, and that is totally fine and needs to be respected. In the heat of the moment, some partners may be interested but hesitant because proper pre-sex preparations didn’t occur. Sex isn’t exactly sanitary; even though hints of poo can live on and near the vulva, penis, and perineum (especially if you don’t follow the rule of front to back wiping) most folks don’t think of those areas as “dirty” when it’s time to get sexy. The anus, however, needs some extra cleaning before being munched on.
Hepatitis A is transmitted directly through feces, and, well … your asshole is your poop chute. Bacterial infections can also be contracted through rimming, because e.coli and salmonella can live in feces and on skin where said fecal matter was wiped from.
Once you and your partner agree to mouth-to-ass activities, there are plenty of ways to clean the landscape. Take a shower before sex and use some good old fashioned antibacterial soap. Showering together can add to the excitement and foreplay too. While trimming hair or flushing with an enema in advance could add to the sensation of rimming, neither are necessary. If soap and water don’t feel like enough, use a dental dam or tongue condom to add a barrier between the anus and mouth.
Be aware that STIs can still be transmitted through rimming. According to the CDC, herpes, HPV, oral gonorrhea, and Hepatitis A can be shared via rimming. Dental dams and finger or tongue condoms can mitigate these risks. If you or your partner has reasons to be worried about infection or if there are visible signs of abrasions or wounds, consider holding off on the rim job. Other factors that may delay anal play are constipation, gas, or diarrhea. That should go without saying, yet no good advice should be assumed.
Ready, Set, Rim
Consent has been given and cleanup has happened. Now what? If it’s your first time, you may be nervous. Remember that both you and your partner(s) should talk to each other to be sure everyone is comfortable. Trust goes a long way when it comes to enjoying any sex act, so stay within the boundaries and go slow.
Start by finding a comfortable position. The recipient could be on their back, with pillows under their hips while a giver settles in between their thighs. Or the recipient could be on all fours or leaning over a chair or bed. This allows the giver more access to touch all of the butt area while moving their tongue around the anus.
Experiment with how you move your tongue if you are the giver, just the way you would on any other body part you are trying to stimulate. Adjust the speed and pressure while paying attention to your partner’s body. Pretend you are licking an ice cream cone and use long tongue strokes or tease your partner with short flicks of the tongue. Ask them what feels good. And if you notice the anus relax, that is a good sign that you are providing pleasure. While your tongue is busy, don’t forget to use your hands to rub your partner’s genitals, nipples, or thighs. And remember that rimming does not mean penetration or consent for anal sex. You can ask your partner if you can poke your tongue into their anus or apply pressure with your finger, but be sure to have lube handy, and don’t confuse external pleasure with unwanted internal touching.
Sex is fun and doesn’t have to be taken so seriously! Try something new; if it isn’t working, then try something else. Communicate before, during, and after sex. Explore what felt good and what didn’t work. And just because consent was given before rimming started, be prepared to stop if one of you isn’t as into it as you thought you would be. A sex act should never be an obligation.
Enjoy your ass tart.