This News Anchor's Viral Makeup Tutorial Is The Funniest One Yet

This makeup tutorial is everything

Makeup tutorials are all the rage these days, but honestly, who can follow them? I find myself frantically pausing a video with one hand while clumsily wielding an eyeliner brush in the other while saying the F word under my breath and eventually swearing off makeup until the next day when I go through the whole ritual all over again.

Luckily, we found one that’s just flat-out fun. No winged eyeliner fails happening here.

Cincinnati news personality Bob Herzog often shares videos of his crack-of-dawn getting ready routine on his Facebook page, where he has a huge following. A recent installment in a recurring series Herzog posts called “Wake Up and Makeup” went viral with over a million views, because it’s both relatable and hysterical. Herzog talks to the camera while narrating his makeup routine and talking about life in general. Oh, and light sabers.

Just watch.

Herzog notes that it’s Friday, very early in the morning, but still, he’s finding joy. One particularly exciting thing happening for him that day? A new concealer stick. He says it’s “big doins'” and after watching him use it, we’d have to agree.

Turns out concealer can be way more fun if you do little sound effects and pretend it’s a lightsaber. Though he is careful to note, the stick doesn’t actually make lightsaber sounds when you twist it. Bummer.

The makeup does, however, “slay the heinous deficiencies” on his face. He also compares the soft newness of his concealer to popping open a new jar or peanut butter or Nutella.

Sorry, Bob. Concealer can never compare to the wonders of Nutella.

This week is extra exciting on the makeup front, because not only does Herzog have a spanking new concealer, he has a new foundation too. He likens this occurrence to the recent super blue blood moon, which makes sense, since two new makeup items at once are a rare and powerful thing.

He then explains while blending the foundation “violently” into his hairline that he tends to get a lot of neck hair. He compares himself to Wolverine only without the claws or “girthy pectorals.”

But we bet Wolverine isn’t nearly so talented with a concealer stick.

He discusses how he has to blend his makeup in a “dainty” fashion on his Adam’s apple, or else it hurts. He blends “violently” on the face, “daintily” on the neck. “Violent on the face and dainty on the neck.” Definitely a makeup mantra to remember.

Time for blush, which Herzog says makes him look like Raggedy Andy, which, OK, he might have a point there.

But that’s why he blends! “Hurt your face and now it knows that you love it,” he exclaims while “violently” blending up and out.

As he wraps up his routine, he says the most relatable thing ever uttered in a makeup tutorial. Well, to me anyway. “Already sweating, already sweating…” he says, as he panic-applies more powder than any human should need.

But we can’t argue with the results.