Bristol Palin Is Pregnant Again, The Entire Internet Rolls Its Eyes

Bristol Palin — a woman who has made a career out of preaching about abstinence and judging other women for their choices — is pregnant again. Out of wedlock. Let’s all simultaneously clutch our pearls.

She made the pregnancy announcement on her blog yesterday: “(I’m announcing this news a lot sooner than I ever expected due to the constant trolls who have nothing better to talk about!!!) I wanted you guys to be the first to know that I am pregnant.”

Let’s get this disclaimer out of the way first: she’s a 24-year-old woman who can do whatever the hell she damn well pleases. She, along with every other woman out there, owes no one an excuse or explanation regarding what is going on in her own body. But when you make a career preaching about abstinence as a valid form of birth control (spoiler alert: it’s not) and judging other women for exercising their right to choose — you better believe there’s a shit storm coming when you don’t live up to the ridiculous expectations you set for every other woman out there.

In 2009, Bristol Palin used her experience with totally not abstaining from sex, to begin working for a pregnancy prevention non-profit. Well, that’s a confusing poster girl. According to the Daily Kos, the non-profit, “Candie’s Foundation” (yes, it’s affiliated with the clothing brand) released its tax information that year, revealing that Bristol was paid a salary of $262,500. That same year, the foundation donated a whopping $35,000 in funding and grants to teen pregnancy health and counseling clinics. So the foundation basically paid Bristol seven times the amount they raised for the actual purpose of their mission. Interesting.

She was paid a quarter million dollars to preach about abstinence, although she was living proof abstinence only education does not work. She told Good Morning America in 2009, “Regardless of what I did personally, abstinence is the only 100% foolproof way you can prevent pregnancy.” Translation: do as I say, not as a do. To her credit, that’s really the only sound argument when you’re preaching nonsense.

She regularly spreads misinformation and slams women for their choices regarding their sexuality via her blog on Patheos. Here’s an example of her brilliance, “Abortions Are Down 12% Since 2010. Is Social Media Helping?” No, birth control is. Another post, “Planned Parenthood Celebrates Abortion On Mother’s Day,” responded to an ad that celebrated a woman’s right to become a mother when she’s ready. The Planned Parenthood ad actually said, “Being a mother makes me very appreciative for our rights. All women should have the choice to do what they want with their own body.” Bristol’s interpretation of that sentence? She wrote that it “was super disrespectful to women everywhere. Women who are moms, who didn’t make the choice to kill their child.” Nice.

She said in her pregnancy announcement, “please respect Tripp’s and my privacy during this time. I do not want any lectures and I do not want any sympathy.” Too bad. You don’t make a career out of lecturing others, then simply opt out of the backlash when your life doesn’t live up to your own, self-imposed, puritanical expectations.

No one cares that you’re pregnant out of wedlock, Bristol. They care that you are a giant hypocrite.