This Comedy Sketch Nails The Ridiculousness Of Fitbit

by Thea Glassman
Originally Published: 
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Sign us up for one “Fatbit,” please and thanks

We all know that one person who takes their Fitbit very, very seriously. They want to get all their steps in each day, and will do several extra jaunts around the block just to meet their step goal. This is one phenomenon that has not been appropriately made fun of — until now.

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CBC Comedy released a sketch that perfectly pokes fun of obsessive Fitbit-ers (my sincerest apologies in advance if this is you). It features a woman who really, really wants to meet her Fitbit goals for the day. Like, desperately so. She asks her co-worker if she would like to run up and down the stairwell with her after lunch just so she can get those extra steps. Sadly, said co-worker’s Fitbit has instructed her that she needs to take a nap, because she’s not getting enough sleep (now that’s a Fitbit I can get behind).

She tries to hit up her other co-workers, but it turns out they all have their own versions of Fitbit that they live their lives by — like the “Fatbit,” which tracks how often society body shames you, and “Fuckbit,” which dictates when you need to get down and dirty. Oh yeah, and there’s also a “Funbit,” which tells you when you needs to drink an entire thermos of wine (again, hi, that’s something I could definitely get behind).

Then, we come to the last co-worker, who also refuses to run up and down the stairs. “Does your Fitbit say you can’t?” her co-worker asked. “No, that’s just a watch,” she replied. “I do whatever the fuck I want.”

Can I get an AMEN.

The sketch — which drew in 2.5 million views — received some divisive views in the comment section.

There were the people who live their Fitbit lives with a healthy amount of moderation.

The people who really just want a Funbit (because hello, who wouldn’t).

And the people who do whatever they want.

I am forever Team Do Whatever The Fuck You Want. However, if anyone happens to create an actual Funbit, please send it to me immediately. Very much okay with mandatory wine breaks.

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