A Mom's Message To Her Childfree Friends: 'Thanks For Giving A F**k About My Kids'

by Megan Zander
Originally Published: 
Image via Facebook

Constance Hall thanks her childfree friends for spending time with her kids

When it comes to parenting, mom and author Constance Hall is a truth teller. Whether she’s being real about how hard it is to be a SAHM, reminding us to worship our mombods just as they are or talking about how motherhood is basically one big contradiction, Hall has no problem with being brutally honest about the hard parts of parenting. She’s at it again in her latest viral Facebook post, this time with a message for her friends that don’t have children:”Thanks for giving a fuck about my kids.”

“You come to my kids’ parties, not because your kids have dragged you there but because you actually want to come.”

It’s true. Half the time we don’t even want to be at a kids’ birthday party, and they’re our kids. Kids birthday parties are loud and hot and smell like feet. When our childfree friends show up — and with a gift, no less — we know it’s not for the cake. It’s because they really give a damn. We appreciate you taking the time, even if we don’t get the chance to say it because we’re too busy telling at a bunch of third graders to stop playing “human piñata.”

“You come to kid friendly restaurants and eat curly fucking chips while my arsehole children play on your phone and knock your drink over, when you could be at some opening of some cool place with the millions of cool people who invite you out.”

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“You come to my house with interesting stories” she says, “and give me a fresh inspiration when you speak about your upcoming opportunities.” So much this. One of the best things about meeting up with a childfree friend is hearing them talk about what’s going on in their life, to have them bring you news from the outside that has nothing to do with Minecraft or the latest PTA drama.

Because Hall is a queen, she even acknowledges those of her friends who might find spending time with her own kids bittersweet because they tried and failed to have children of their own. “Some of you desperately wanted them and instead of being jealous or bitter towards me for having so many you relish in mine and love them with your whole soul.”

Far too often when a Facebook post begins with, “Dear friends without children,” you just know there’s a whole lot of judgy bullshit coming next about not knowing what true love is or about how you don’t know what being tired really feels until you have a baby. But Hall’s post isn’t about pitting parents against non-parents. It’s a heartfelt thank you to the friends who aren’t parents themselves, but love our kids as part of their village.

“I never remember a time before I had kids that I was that gracious and cool enough to sacrifice a Saturday night at the pub so that I could sit on the kitchen floor playing Twister with a friend’s kid.”

So in case we don’t say it enough, to our friends who don’t have kids but love us and our broods, thanks. We really couldn’t do this without you. And also, we’ll pay to have that shirt cleaned.

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