A Herd Of Cows Made A Legen*Dairy* Escape From A Slaughterhouse

by Kristina Johnson

Dozens of cows stampede through the streets of Southern California after escaping from a slaughterhouse

It sounds like the set-up for a kids’ movie (and one my children would definitely make me watch 743 times), or one of those “Eat more chikin” ads from Chick-fil-A come to life: 3o to 40 cows, apparently on a quest for freedom, broke out of a slaughterhouse and stampeded through the streets of Pico Rivera, California on Tuesday.

Local media reports said that someone accidentally left a gate open at the meatpacking plant, and the cows quickly took advantage (and can you really blame them? They had absolutely nothing to lose). The cows made it about a mile away before authorities caught up to the herd and started rounding them up an hour after their great escape.

“Nearly three dozen cows broke free from a meatpacking plant and stampeded through a neighborhood about 10 miles southeast of downtown Los Angeles,” a tweet from the Today Show reads alongside footage of the wild cow caper, showing cows making their way through a suburban California neighborhood.

The local Pico Rivera sheriff’s office assisted with the roundup, while also doling out dad jokes on social media. “STEER CLEAR for a few more minutes please. We are in the process of mooo-ving the cows!” the department tweeted. The Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Office jumped in with a pun as well, calling the situation a “mooo-tiny” on Facebook. Kudos to these aspiring comedians for having the strength to resist adding any “Where’s the beef?” jokes.

At one point, the cows congregated themselves in someone’s front yard, which might have been the oddest 911 call for those homeowners to make.

Unfortunately, a cow ended up charging a passerby, sending them to the hospital with minor injuries.

The situation wasn’t all fun and puns, though. Sadly, one of the cows was shot and killed after charging a family, and at least one of those family members was reportedly treated for minor injuries at a local hospital. Can you imagine having to explain that in the emergency room? It’s either the coolest way to get injured, or the most embarrassing way ever.

The cows were eventually herded back to the slaughterhouse, but at least they got one final taste of freedom (which apparently included eating some nice neighborhood lawns and destroying at least one homeowner’s fence) before their inevitable end. I genuinely hope those cows enjoyed their now legen-dairy (sorry) escape.