Whether you’re 10 or 40 years old, there’s something eternally hilarious about a good animal joke or useless fact. In fact, nature jokes and puns in general are especially funny because there’s a universality to them. They’re kid-friendly, make for the perfect dad jokes, and make the chicken or the egg question a hilarious philosophical debate. They also make for the best puns. Case in point: cow jokes. How many ways can you sneak the “moo” sound into a word? A lot.
If your animal-loving kid is constantly singing “Old McDonald” or “Baa-Baa Blacksheep,” then these cow jokes, puns, and riddles will make their day. They’re udderly amoosing.
1. Why was the cow afraid? He was a cow-herd.
2. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
3. Cow telling her family history: “My grandfather was a knight. He was Sir Loin.”
4. Why did the cow jump over the moon? Because the farmer’s hands were cold.
5. What do you get when you cross a cow and a rooster? Roost beef.
6. What do you call a sleeping cow? A bull dozer.
7. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
8. Why do cows wear bells? Because their bells don’t work.
9. What’s a cow’s favorite newspaper? The Daily Moos
10. What do you get when you cross a cow and a dog? Hound beef.
11. What do you get when you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow? A baaaaaaad mooooood.
12. What does a farmer talk about when she’s milking a cow? Udder nonsense.
13. What did the mother cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bedtime.
14. What did the cow say to its therapist? “I feel seen but not herd.”
15. What did the cow say to all her friends? I am legen-dairy.
16. What did the Auntie cow say to her niece? You’re so udderly cute!
17. Knock knock.
Cow says who?
No, silly. Cow says MOOOOOOOO.
18. What do you call two ducks and a cow? Quackers and milk.
19. Knock, knock.
Interrupting cow, wh-
20. What happens when a cow laughs? Milk comes out of its nose.
21. What’s a cow’s favorite TV show? Dr. Moo.
22. What do you get when a cow jumps in a trampoline? Milkshake.
23. What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow? A steak out.
24. Why do cows go to New York?
To see the moosicals.
25. How did the cow get to Mars? It flew through udder space.
26. How do you get a cow to keep quiet? Press the moooote button.
27. What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake!
28. What do cows eat for breakfast? Moosli.
29. How do farmers count their cows? They use a cowculator.
30. What do you call cattle that tell jokes? Laughing stock.
31. What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier? Cowboom.
32. What Happens When You Talk To A Cow? It goes in one ear and out the udder!
33. What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!
34. What do you call a fight between two herds of cows? A cattle battle.
35. What time is it when a cow sits on your hat? Time to get a new hat!
36. Animal News Network had to fire its bovine news anchorman
37. It is now legal to park bovines with foot coverings in motorcycle parking spaces.
38. What do you get when you take a bovine and divide its circumference by its diameter?