You’ve gotten Disney Plus. You’re freaking over The Mandalorian. If you’re my mom, you’re binge-watching every episode of that veterinary guy episode in order. But if you’re a parent, your house is ringing with joy: Disney Plus is bringing back the ’90s. Our childhood has arrived again. More than Netflix, more than Amazon, our childhood has arrived, has invaded our living room, has come back to haunt us in new and strange ways.
And we couldn’t be more thrilled.
Yeah, Disney Plus lets you watch every Disney movie ever. It lets you watch Avatar after your kids go to bed. It lets you watch every single Star Wars movie. But Disney Plus, more than anything, has brought the ’90s back.
You thought you wanted your kids to watch this. You thought they would love it. You remember loving it. You remember your obsession with it. You can sing the theme song. And didn’t you have a stuffed Gummi Bear? Maybe the yellow one? Because I had the yellow one and it was awesome.
Oh, how soon we forget, or never realized in the first place, that Gummi Bears may be the most annoying thing about Disney Plus bringing back the ’90s. I’ve had to migrate to a different room when my kids put this one on. It’s sort of incomprehensible and involves all sorts of people other than the Gummi Bears and their secret of Gummi Berry Juice, which people are always trying to steal, because the ability to bounce really high is super important here, people.
You can still sing the theme song — to the re-release and the old version, both of which Disney Plus carries. Your kids can watch them both. You’ll like them both. DuckTales is on heavy rotation in my house, with Scrooge being Scrooge-y and Launchpad McQuack crashing every plane, train, and automobile he can get his hands (wings?) on. This was really cute until my kids watched and rewatched every single episode like 600 times.
Chip ‘N Dale Rescue Rangers
They were pint-sized! They were chipmunks! They were detectives! They solved tiny crimes! And now their annoying theme song, which I just earwormed you with, can live on in your den.
He was the terror that flapped through the night. He was … whatever else he was. But he got dangerous, all right, dangerous enough that my kids’ and my BFF’s kids are now totally and completely obsessed. Rewatch it now on Disney Plus with your kids to see the nods to things like Batman, Zorro, and even Sandman. The city, St. Canard? Total ripoff of Gotham City, by the way. You need this in your life.
When I saw this on Disney Plus, I was super-crazy excited to show this to my kids. It harkens back to the days of yore, when kids left home in the morning and stayed out til the streetlights came on; the idea of childhood myth and legends larger than life with The Beast; the nerdy kid becoming friends with the cool kid … and it holds up. It does. It’s awesome. Except it’s kinda misogynist. The worst insult you can hurl: “YOU PLAY BALL LIKE A GIRL!” Squints sexually assaults the lifeguard to get her to make out with him — and she waves at him like it’s cute for the rest of the summer. The main character says that, “Even my mom, a grown-up girl,” knew who Babe Ruth was. Yikes. I found myself yelling at the TV and running interference.
An ahead-of-its-time, slice of ’90s mainstream goth goodness. Before Hot Topic existed, this was Disney’s slightly darker animated offering, with developed characters, slightly more complex story arcs, and more adult themes. It wasn’t perfect. And stuff from the ’90s that seemed dark are just cute in retrospect. But in 1994, this was as serious as it got — and Disney Plus has brought it back too.
This was actually based on the Jamaican bobsled team, people. Like, for real, and this fact never gets old and never will. It’s got the late great John Candy. It was also eminently quotable, and you walked around saying things like: “I’m feeling very Olympic today!” “Rise and shine! It’s butt-whipping time!” Thank you, Disney Plus. You have given me back the only good part of middle school.
This movie is delightfully implausible and glorious. I remember walking out of the theater totally in love with Macaulay Culkin. Your kids deserve this movie in their lives. The Wet Bandits were played by Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern, two comic geniuses who end up slipping on marbles and getting frying pans in the face. Plus the scene with Kevin putting aftershave on is absolutely iconic. No one cares about the feel-good part where the old man makes up with his granddaughter. We’re all in it for the “Keep the change, ya filthy animal” part.
My husband insists that, as a family, we do not recognize the existence of Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, or Home Alone 3, which doesn’t even star Culkin, but know that they are also available on Disney Plus.
Your favorite awkward kid is back, and still in love with Patty Mayonnaise, still best friends with Skeeter, and more! Doug dealt with real issues, like crushes and bullying and stuff! It was like Degrassi but animated and cute and sweet and with a sketchbook and gentle and kind. Yay Doug! We didn’t know we needed you back until we had you, dude.
What Else for Disney Plus?
You can find all this stuff anytime on Disney Plus, on demand, for $6.99/month or $69.99/year. And I haven’t even gotten into the animated movie classics like The Little Mermaid and Aladdin, Sister Act (all the Sister Acts), Boy Meets World (oh, Mr. Feeny, may you never age), and all the Honey, I Shrunk the Kids! movies. You brought back our childhood, Disney Plus. You’ve handed it to us on our flat screen TVs. We bow in gratitude to our Mousey Overlords.