Don’t ask Donald Trump about energy-efficient light — he has bigly problems with these “new” bulbs
One might imagine that with everything going on in the world (including his own impeachment), the President of the United States would have many important issues to address. And in a two-hour campaign rally speech that took place in Wisconsin, Donald Trump obviously did have pressing matters on his mind. Like, for instance, light bulbs.
Not run-of-the-mill lightbulbs, though. Trump took aim at that highfalutin “new light” — otherwise known to the rest of the world as energy-efficient lightbulbs. “The new lightbulb costs you five times as much and it makes you look orange,” Trump railed to the crowd, who cheered and laughed.
This isn’t the first time Trump has accused energy-efficient lightbulbs of being to blame for his distinctive skin tone. “I say, “Why do I always look so orange?’ You know why: because of the new light,” he told a crowd in Battle Creek, Michigan, in December. “They’re terrible. You look terrible. They cost you many, many times more. Like four or five times more.”
Trump has even made his vendetta against “new lightbulbs” actionable by rolling back Obama-era legislation mandating a transition toward the energy-efficient bulbs.
Amazingly (not a compliment), Trump isn’t just offended by the presence of lightbulbs that attempt to minimize wasteful energy usage. In general, he’s not a fan of any household item or appliance that could in any way, shape or form use less energy. In fact, as he tells it, he’s a fan of things that use more energy.
“I’m also approving new dishwashers that give you more water, so you can actually wash and rinse your dishes without having to do it 10 times — four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10,” he counted, in case you weren’t clear on how to get from four to 10 sequentially. He also made it resoundingly clear that other sinks, toilets and showers weren’t off the hook either, saying, “You don’t get any water. They put restrictors on and now they made them permanent.”
And while lightbulbs are to blame for his orange glow, Trump says low-flow showerheads are threatening to ruin his glorious coif.
“You go into the shower — and I have this beautiful head of hair, I need a lot of water — and you turn on the water [and] drip, drip, drip. I call the guy, ‘Something wrong with this?’ ‘No, sire, it’s just the restrictor.’ So you’re in there five times longer than you’re supposed to be, you use probably more water and it’s a very unpleasant experience,” Trump lamented, adding, “We’re getting rid of the restrictors, you’re going to have full shower flow, full sink.”
Don’t worry, though, Trump joked that if he runs for president again in 10 years (that’s not the part you shouldn’t worry about) he’ll skip the lightbulb talk (there it is). “I’ll leave it out because I want to get praise,” he said. “You cannot make a brilliant speech, where they say ‘that was such an incredible, elegant speech,’ where I’m talking about dishwashers, sinks, toilets, lightbulbs.”
Hey, he said it… not us. Okay but also, we’re saying it. Trump should take his pick of actual global crises — the planet’s sixth era of mass extinction, gun violence in schools, a looming third world war — and leave household appliances out of it.