When people find out I’m a single mom, I’m usually met with looks of pity. It’s as if they think that my two children and I couldn’t possibly be happy and complete without their father in the picture. Per usual, their beliefs are a byproduct of society’s perpetual portrayal of the traditional family in the media. Even though there are all types of families: biological, blended, and adopted… with same-sex parents, trans parents, or a single parent. Families look different everywhere, and they’re all beautiful.
I feel as though a lot of people I come across believe that since the father of my kids isn’t around, they’re really missing out. And to that I want to say, just because we don’t have a two-parent household, a golden retriever and a white picket fence doesn’t mean we’re not a perfect family. It’s insulting to be looked at with pity because my family doesn’t fit your idea of what happy and thriving families look like.
If you know me, you know that my kids are my whole world. Everything I do is for them. We’re always together, and I have never not put them first. From the moment my oldest child was born, I knew that my purpose in life is to be a mother. It is a privilege and an honor that I never take for granted.
Yes, I wear countless hats, and the exhaustion I feel on a regular basis is REAL. There’s no husband or boyfriend coming home from work, ready to give me a much needed break. It’s all me, all day, every day, for everything. It’s not easy, but it’s beyond worth it.
The love I have for my kids is something I could never fully articulate. It’s unconditional and all-consuming. I could only best describe it as my kids being my heart and soul, because they are. I live for them.
As for my kids, they only know life with mama. I am everything to them. Our bond is the deepest of bonds, unbreakable and indescribably intense. I have been right there with them through every milestone, phase and experience — with open arms, ready to comfort, hold and fulfill every emotional and physical need, day and night.
Being a single mother is twice the work and twice the struggle. But it’s also twice the love, twice the hugs and twice the pride.
My face is the first thing that they see when they wake up and the last thing they see before they fall asleep. My face is the one they’ll be excitedly searching for in the crowd at a school performance. My arms are the ones they collapse into when they need a good cry, and I’ll always be the first person they run to when they have something to share.
So please don’t pity the single mom. Realize that she is blessed beyond measure to be her children’s one and only.