Elle King shares pregnancy news along with a sweet note to those experiencing infertility
For people who have experienced the unimaginable heartache of infertility, it can be incredibly painful to see the pregnancy and baby updates of friends, family, or even celebrities. After experiencing multiple pregnancy losses herself, singer Elle King had that top of mind when announcing her happy news on Instagram and made sure to speak to women going through it.
King, who is the daughter of actor Rob Schneider, took to social media to post photos from a PEOPLE photoshoot about her baby news along with a heartfelt message. She’s expecting her first child with fiancé Dan Tooker, and she wants to be clear that their road to impending parenthood was a difficult and heartbreaking one.
“We are very excited to share the news that we are pregnant. This news comes with a great deal of fear, and I hope that all mothers-to-be, in whatever sense that may be, know that I am trying to be very sensitive,” she writes. “You see, this miracle baby comes after two very big losses.”
“It’s a terrifying and extremely painful experience for everyone. But the sun always rises, and I never really let go to let the universe decide when I was ready,” she says. Then, she talks directly to those who are going through the sad time she herself experienced. “I remember every pregnancy announcement felt like a dagger to me,” she writes. “So I want to be very delicate and say to YOU! That soon to be mom, who’s maybe had a loss, or has been struggling with fertility, I’m telling you, our babies come. And I love you.”
King shares with PEOPLE that polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) was behind her two pregnancy losses. “It’s such a major thing that so many people go through, but it’s so secretive — like you have to go through it alone,” King tells the publication. “Nobody talks about it. It’s like you’re supposed to feel shame; like you’re not supposed to tell people before 12 weeks, because if you lose it, it’s going to be embarrassing for you and you don’t want other people to get their hopes up. Like, holy s—.”
She also adds that being pregnant after a loss meant telling those close to her so she’d have love and support should she experience another loss. “When I got pregnant, I told my mom, I told my dad, I told my sister, I told my brother, I told my closest friends. Because God forbid I go through that again, I’m going to need my support team. I’m going to need my family and the people that love me to say, ‘It’s okay.'”
“I’ve experienced loss and to go through that pain of losing two pregnancies, it just feels like life is over, life is done. You have to go through this intense and really just unbelievably draining and shocking grieving period. You feel like such a failure,” King continues. “Then when [you get pregnant again], you’re so afraid to enjoy it and be happy because you’re so scared that it’s going to be taken away. Just because I’m having a pregnancy that’s going well now it doesn’t mean that I’m over losing any pregnancy.”
“What women go through on this journey make us nothing less than WARRIORS,” she closes out her Instagram post. “So thank you for your prayers and love for our high risk pregnancy!”