What Is Your Enneagram Compatibility With Other Enneagram Types?

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Enneagram Compatibility

So, you’ve taken your Riso-Hudson Enneagram Type Indicator. You’ve read the corresponding Enneagram descriptions. Sure, you now feel like you have a better understanding of who you are and how you view the world. But the whole idea behind these types of personality tests is that they may also help you form better relationships with those around you — and what you’d really like to know is what your type will mean for your romantic relationships. In other words, you’re here for all the deets on Enneagram compatibility.

Maybe you’ve already looked into your Chinese zodiac compatibility, and you’ve read all about which Zodiac signs go together best. You feel as though your Enneagram type captures you better than those other personality typing tests, though, so you’re hoping it will prove useful in your love life. According to the Enneagram Institute, learning about Enneagram compatibility will at least give you further insight into how your behaviors affect those you choose to bring into your world (and bed).

So, keep reading for an explainer on how the different Enneagram types may behave in romantic relationships.

What’s the Enneagram compatibility theory?

Here’s a disclaimer straight from the Enneagram Insitute about putting too much stock in compatibility tests: “No pairing of types is particularly blessed and no pairing is particularly doomed… Keep in mind that one can have a relationship with any type if the two people are healthy. Since this is not always the case, knowing the type, the level of health, and the instincts of each person can provide more insight.”

Basically, learning about Enneagram compatibility is more of an exercise in understanding the types of positive and negative issues that could arise between different types in a romantic context.

So… which Enneagram types are most compatible?

It may be best to think of Enneagram love matches not in terms of most or least compatible but in terms of what pairs most commonly match. In studies done pertaining to Enneagram personality types in relationships, successful relationships seemed to highlight the following trends.

Type 1s (The Reformer): Type 2s, Type 7s

Dedicated, perfectionistic Type 1s are drawn to caring and nurturing Type 2s because they soften their hard edges.

Types 1s actually share an Enneagram line with Type 7s, making this what is known in the Enneagram world as a “complementary relationship.” Since Type 1s tend to be hardworking and steadfast, they crave the companionship of the more adventurous and carefree type 7s.

Type 2s (The Helper): Type 3s, Type 8s

Type 2s are nurturing and giving — to a fault. They can lose themselves in relationships since they’re such people-pleasers. Driven Type 3s tend to empower Type 2s to speak up for themselves, though. And, to their credit, Type 2s help Type 3s break the tunnel-vision they can have for work and achievements.

Type 8s complement Type 2s because they’re super-confident, a trait that Type 2s can use more of in their lives. In return, 2s show 8s that it’s OK to let your guard down.

Type 3s (The Achiever): Type 9s

Because Type 3s are so single-minded when it comes to success and the perception of others, they run the risk of not honoring their authenticity. Enter: Type 9s. The Peacemaker, a Type 9 will support and accept a Type 3 for who they are — while also encouraging them to tap into a deeper well of self-awareness and vulnerability.

Type 4s (The Individualist): Type 5s, Type 9s

Type 4s can be intense, so it’s no surprise they’re likewise drawn to intense characters. This explains why so many 4s match with 5s! Type 5s are cerebral and logical, though, so their version of intense serves as a nice foil to Type 4’s sensitive, emotional intensity.

As far as 4s and 9s go, Type 4s imbue Type 9s’ lives with a bit more feeling and passion. And mellow known meets 4s need for a sense of safety.

Type 5s (The Investigator): Type 1s, Type 2s

If ever there was a consummate student of the Enneagram, Type 5 is it. Known as the Investigators, they’re constantly seeking out new knowledge. But because they are so cerebral, they sometimes get too much in their own heads. When a Type 5 pairs with a Type 1, they are matched in several ways. They’re both driven and self-propelled. They both love the pursuit of more information. But Type 1s are big on intentionality, which serves as a good influence on 5s (who tend to like their alone time).

Type 5 and Type 2 is a case of opposites attracting! The big-hearted, people-pleasing Type 2 pushes the independent Type 5 to engage with others and lean into the comforts of domesticity. In return, Type 5s help Type 2s learn to be less co-dependent.

Type 6s (The Loyalist), 7s (The Enthusiast), and 8s (The Challenger): Type 9s

If you’re a Type 9, you’re probably feeling pretty good about your love prospects right now, eh? Peacemakers do, indeed, have much to offer in a relationship. For Type 6s, who can be anxious and suspicious, Type 9s offer a calm and soothing presence. The upbeat and exuberant Type 7 pairs equally well with the agreeable Type 9, with 7s bringing energy to the relationship while 9s balance it out with a mellow vibe. And the powerful, self-confident, authoritative Type 8 can definitely benefit from the more chill persona of the peacemaking Type 9.

Type 9s (The Peacemaker): Type 1s, Type 2s

While it’s clear that many different Enneagram types pair well with the Peacemaker, they gravitate toward Type 1s and Type 2s. Type 9s help the perfectionistic Type 1 calm their inner critic, while ambitious Type 1 pushes the Peacemaker not to grow complacent.

Type 2s and Type 9s can be quite similar in their approach to life and love, as they’re both incredibly agreeable. Their differences are what make them shine, though — 9s prove to 2s that not everyone will take advantage of their generosity, and 2s encourage 9s to be more proactive.

Can same-type pairings be successful?

Sure! Again, just because they are less common doesn’t mean they are less compatible. Same-type Enneagram pairings can be very happy if both parties are highly self-aware. One interesting note? While long-term relationships between those with the same Enneagram type statistically happen two times less often than other pairings, there is an exception. Double Type 4 couples occur more than the statistical norm would suggest.

Which Enneagram is the most sensitive?

If you’re looking for a sympathetic and receptive Enneagram match, seek a Type 4. They are self-aware and have a quiet disposition that can make them hard to read. However, they are very in tuned with their emotions and understanding of others. Unfortunately, due to a Type 4’s reserved manner, sometimes people assume they’re distant, stuck-up, or antisocial, when they’re just really conscious of their emotions and the feelings of others.

What is the most difficult Enneagram type?

In addition to being the most sensitive Enneagram, Type 4s are also viewed as the most difficult to understand. This is somewhat unexpected since they’re so empathetic. But they do spend a lot of time alone to recharge their social battery and process their thoughts. This can make them seem moody or withdrawn. Type 4s also value connection and pull away if they don’t feel that bond. Although Type 4 enneagrams are sensitive, it does not mean that they’re difficult. However, their high level of self-awareness and shyness may confuse others. People may mistake their reserved attitudes for mysterious or hard to read. This is part of what makes them seem like a difficult enneagram type.

Where can I learn more about Enneagram compatibility?

If you are interested in doing more than just a little light reading, the Enneagram Institute has a comprehensive breakdown of how each type relates to each other in a romantic relationship. You can find it here.

How do you know what Enneagram you are?

Sure, you can take an enneagram quiz to figure out your type, but you can also take the time to read through each description and have an honest conversation with yourself. It’s important to practice self-awareness and honesty when trying to figure out your type. Analyze the bad parts of the descriptions just as much as you do the positive elements. This will help you find the most accurate description for yourself.

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