Jennette McCurdy’s shocking new memoir I’m Glad My Mom Died is now a New York Times best seller, and it’s not just because of the grabbing title. The memoir, which sold over 200,000 copies across all formats in its first week of release, explores McCurdy’s struggles with childhood stardom at Nickelodeon as well as the trauma she suffered at the hands of her abusive mother, Debbie.
McCurdy went on the Facebook Watch show Red Table Talk to chat with hosts Jada Pinkett-Smith, Willow Smith, and Adrienne Banfield-Norris, about the book, her life after Nickelodeon, and just how toxic her relationship with her mother truly was. The incredible highlight was when she reading an email out loud that her late mother sent after seeing a photo of McCurdy on TMZ.
In a clip from the Red Table Talk conversation, the iCarly star reads aloud: "‘I am so disappointed in you ... You used to be my perfect little angel, but now you are nothing more than a little’ — all caps — ‘slut, a floozy, all used up.’”
She continues reading, “‘And to think you wasted it on that hideous ogre of a man. I saw the pictures on a website called TMZ. I saw you rubbing his disgusting hairy stomach. I knew you were lying about Colton.' I had told her I was with a friend, Colton. ‘Add that to a list of things you are: liar, conniving, evil.’”
Debbie continues to berate her McCurdy, turning her rage towards McCurdy’s appearance in the photo, noting that she looks “pudgier.”
“‘It's clear you're eating your guilt,’” she continues reading. This comment was particularly triggering for McCurdy, who suffered from an eating disorder during her time on iCarly.
McCurdy was 11 years old when her mom introduced her to the world of restrictive eating. "My mom said she could teach me calorie counting and we could be a team, but that I had to keep it secret ... I thought it was an opportunity for my mom and me to be closer,” the actress confessed in her memoir.
McCurdy explained she was living on 1,000 calories a day and "sometimes I'd eat even less because I wanted my mom to be proud.”
McCurdy’s late mother, who died of cancer in 2013, then goes on to slut-shame McCurdy in the e-mail, making accusations about her sex life as well as noting that she has turned her brothers against her.
“Thinking of you with his ding-dong inside of you makes me sick. Sick! I raised you better than this. What happened to my good little girl? Where did she go and who is this monster that has replaced her? You're an ugly monster now. I told your brothers about you and they all said they disown you just like I do. We want nothing to do with you. Love, Mom — or should I say Deb since I am no longer your mother?’”
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A heartbreaking and hilarious memoir by iCarly and Sam & Cat star Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life.
She ends the email on a laughable moment for the Sam and Cat alum, asking McCurdy for money to replace a kitchen appliance. She reads, “‘P.S. Send money for a new fridge; ours broke.’”
The star assured the co-hosts that she is now in a much better place with herself and her brothers thanks to therapy. She recently told PEOPLE, “ ... I'm not going to lie, it was very hard to get here. But now I'm at a place in my life that I never would have thought was possible. And I finally feel free."
Red Table Talk returns with the full premiere episode featuring McCurdy on Sep. 7 at 12 p.m. ET.