Coming Clean

Lauren Conrad On Losing Herself To Motherhood: 'Am I Just A New Human Now?'

The reality star and businesswoman admits the emotional journey of new parenthood is "challenging."

Lauren Conrad attends The Little Market's International Women's Day Luncheon -- she recently opened ...
Frazer Harrison/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Lauren Conrad is here to reassure mothers that it’s OK to prioritize yourself every once and while. In an interview on the new motherhood-focused podcast Perelel Lives, the former Laguna Beach and Hills star, fashion designer and founder of Little Market opens up about how she “lost” herself following the birth of her now 4-year-old son, Liam.

Conrad, who is also mom to 2-year-old Charlie with husband William Tell, admitted that she didn’t know when she was “gonna get back" to her old self.

"Like, am I just a new human now?” she told host Alex Taylor. “I remember [someone] said, ‘It’s going to take you a year to feel like yourself again and it’s going to be your new self and it’s going to be even better. You made a new human, you’re taking care of them, it’s a new and improved — you’ll like her, you’ll get along.’ She was like ‘Give it time. It’s a new adjustment.’ And she’s right. It took about a year for me to kind of feel like myself again.”

Lauren Conrad posted photos of her two sons, Liam and Charlie.

The 36-year-old added that a lot of people prepared her for the “exciting” stages of motherhood but left out the bits involving postpartum and the struggles to adapt to a new identity.

"It's like a funny game that women play with each other because you know it's worth it and you can't just tell that to someone,” she said. “I had friends who told me just enough; they told me the things I needed to know ... They helped me prepare with checklists and then were there for me afterwards, in a supportive way."

She added, "The emotional journey afterwards...was just really challenging.”

Conrad, who knows she’s privileged when it comes to working remotely and being home with her kids most days, also said she has an unpopular opinion when it comes to “me time.”

“I’m totally fine being away from my kids for a few days,” she admitted. “I don’t do it that often and I obviously haven’t done it for a while, but pre-pandemic I would travel to New York like every other month and it would be three days worth of work, go to a nice restaurant, whatever. And I actually think it’s nice to step out of that role just for brief moments. Sometimes it’s important just to be you for a minute and kind of reconnect with yourself.”

Lauren Conrad and her friend and Little Market co-founder Hannah Skvarla.

Conrad said she and Tell decided to have two kids and that they’re perfectly content as a family of four. Although she knows women “black out” a lot of the bad parts of pregnancy and new motherhood, she tried to relish in it all when her second son was born.

"We knew we were gonna be two and done, so that made it a little easier," Conrad said. "I wasn't someone who loved being pregnant. I wasn't one of those people who like, loved the glow. ... [So] even in the hard moments, [I took comfort in] knowing this is the last time I'm gonna do this. I'm not gonna do this again."

You have to love LC for keeping it real. (‘Cause perfect didn’t feel so perfect.) Motherhood is hard and beautiful — and people don’t talk enough about the number it does to your self identity.