I’m Constantly Behind The Times And I'm OK With That

I Feel Like I’m Always Behind The Times

Portrait of young woman
Dornveek Markkstyrn/Getty

I’m the mom who’s late for everything. And I don’t mean constantly being at the back of the line for school drop-off or running late to baseball practice. Though I am those things too.

I feel like I’m always behind. I’m the last one to catch on to the latest trends. I don’t know who most of the celebs making headlines are (even though I’ve been a loyal US Weekly subscriber for nearly 20 years). I don’t have TikTok and I quit Twitter a long time ago.

I’m the last one to figure out the latest trends. I typically don’t figure out the latest styles until they are a couple of seasons old, and by then I don’t want to jump on the wagon out of principle. I’ll be damned if I’m gonna do what everyone else is doing. The end result: I hang on to clothes from several seasons ago – which probably weren’t even trendy at that point either.

Same goes for pop culture trends. I don’t give a shit if I’m called cheugy or basic or whatever. I’m hanging on to my yoga pants, scented candles, and flavored coffees, thankyouverymuch. I’ve long since stopped trying to keep up anyway.

Those must-see Netflix shows that everyone is raving about? I’ll probably watch them when they are in season two or three. Or maybe even after they’ve ended. I just started watching “Lucifer.” It is now in its fourth season. Or is it the fifth? I started watching “New Girl” three years after the show ended. And I fell in love with “Broadchurch” two years after it was discontinued. Sigh…

It doesn’t end with pop culture or fashion trends either. I don’t “get” jokes until a few minutes too late which means I’m often laughing at inappropriate times. And I’ve been known to use slang after “the youths” have moved on to new lingo which makes me look super suss.

Sometimes I feel behind when it comes to friendship. I hate small talk so I rarely hear about the latest town gossip. I’m not on Nextdoor, and local Facebook groups terrify me. So I sometimes feel like I’m behind when it comes to socializing, because I can’t keep up with what everyone seems to be talking about.

Believe it or not, I’m not behind because I’m “out of it,” but also because I just do not care. I give not one single fuck about using the latest catchphrases. I don’t care about keeping up with the latest gossip. And social media makes me feel icky sometimes. It’s all so much work to try to fit in and keep up. It’s exhausting and demoralizing. Truthfully, just thinking about all the work of “Keeping Up with Everyone” makes me want to throw my computer in the garbage, go off-grid, and hibernate in a tiny house in the woods (or better yet, a tiny tropical island). I want to throw my hands up and check out of it all.

But then I’d miss out on the cool “new” shows that started three years ago and wouldn’t be able to annoy my kids with my “bussin’” lingo. Maybe I’ll just pull on my favorite yoga pants, light a scented candle, and sip some cheap flavored coffee while reading about celebs I don’t recognize in my latest US Weekly. Wanna join me? At least you know I won’t judge if you’re behind, too.