55+ Witty Jokes That Will Make Your Feminist Friends LOL
Although being a feminist is obviously badass, some people in the world inexplicably bag on feminism. And one of the barbs they routinely lob in our direction is that feminists lack a sense of humor. They think we’re too serious. Too sharp. But, c’mon, feminists are funny AF (yes, we’re aware that saying AF also makes us cheugy — we’re cool with it). Sure, we’re sharp. But we like to think that qualifier references our razor-sharp wit, which can be seen in all its glory when we’re zinging feminist jokes and other fun stuff. Not only does the following comedic fodder include things we, as feminists, find funny, it also includes poking a little fun at ourselves too. Because, really, where would we be without our sense of self-awareness and profound self-deprecation?
If you’re here, it’s because you also believe in advocating for the sexes’ political, economic, and social equality (aka feminism!). In which case, hi, welcome, let’s be friends. You’re also probably here because life can be stressful, and you need a quick injection of laughter. We’re here to help.
Keep reading for some clever, creative, and, yep, funny feminist jokes.
Best Feminist Jokes
- “How did I meet your father? He shouted, ‘OI, YOU NOT GONNA SAY HELLO BACK TO ME, ARE YOU DEAF OR RUDE?’ as I walked past him, and I just knew.” — @moren1ke/Twitter
- “I’m going to scream about the importance of feminism to the world until my voice becomes hoarse enough to be mistaken for a man’s and people actually start to listen to me.” — piantnoodle.tumblr.com
- How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. It’s not the lightbulb that needs changing.
- “Women belong in the kitchen. Men belong in the kitchen. Everyone belongs in the kitchen.
The kitchen has food.” — @ComedyPosts/Twitter
- “The knowing eye contact women make when men are talking is the purest human connection possible.” — bechdels.tumblr.com
- What’s another name for feminism?
- “Instead of paying women the same as men, pay men the same as women and see how angry they get.” — angryschnauzer.tumblr.com
- “Items every woman should own: Little black dress, cute flats, strappy sanda — OK, now that the men have stopped reading, we revolt at dawn.” — @bananafitz/Twitter
- “All these girls getting themselves pregnant. Wow, self-impregnating teenage girls, men should be afraid women are evolving at alarming rates.” — @alexizrose/Twitter
- Knock, knock!
Who’s there? Impatient feminist. Impatient fem— WHY DON’T WE HAVE EQUAL PAY YET?
- “Dick pics are the human equivalent of a cat giving you a dead bird as a ‘gift.'” — @MissRedKisss/Twitter
- Knock, knock!
Who’s there? You should smile mo— I’m gonna stop you right there, bruh.
- “‘Feminism? No thanks. I prefer gender equality. Water? No thanks. I prefer H20.” — kalifornias-fashion.tumblr.com
- “Sexism is a man screaming he has a better temperament than a woman who has been patiently waiting to speak after being interrupted 10 times.” — @nickpraynerr/Twitter
- Knock, knock!
Who’s there? Ben. Ben who? Ben protesting this shit my whole life, feels like.
- “Every single party where women listen interestedly to men is an extended piece of performance art, and men have no idea.” — @mallelis/Twitter
- A male feminist walks into a bar…
Because it was set so low.
- “A cat-caller just said he wants to get ‘all up in my business,’ which is great because my taxes are complicated, and I could use some help.” — @AlisonLeiby/Twitter
- You can always tell ambitious women apart by the shape of their heads…
They’re flat on top from being patted patronizingly.
- Men online: “LOL feminists stop taking everything seriously.”
(Feminists makes joke about men) Men online: “WHAT THE FUCK?” — @ohnonotfeminism/Twitter
- What do you call guys who make “women in the kitchen” jokes?
- What do you call a woman who has a lot of sex?
- “Your bold declarative statements of what ‘real’ women do and say are a huge help to us, velveteen women. So, thanks.” — @FeralCrone
- Damn boy, are you a bra?
Because you make me uncomfortable, but society has brainwashed me into believing I need you.
- 20 Things That Women Should Stop Wearing After the Age of 30.
1 to 20: The weight of other people’s expectations and judgments. — @behindyourback/Twitter
- Men: “Women are very hard to read.”
Women: “Actually, we just want—” Men: “Such complex creatures.” Women: “If you just liste—” Men: “So mysterious.”
- “BRB, teaching a flock of parrots to say ‘what if that character was a woman?’ and then releasing them in Hollywood.” — @vornietom/Twitter
- How many trans people does it take to change a lightbulb?
Literally one, while everyone around them is telling them to slow down and wait a bit first.
- “Musicals are so stupid and unrealistic! Anyway, back to superheroes and romantic comedies where the male lead gets the girl by stalking her.” — @MaraWilson/Twitter
- Guy: “Google is definitely a woman. It makes suggestions before you even finish what you’re trying to say.”
Woman: “Then Bing is definitely a man — it tries to convince everyone that it’s superior while it does a horrible job of pleasing users.”
- “Ya know when guys are like, ‘Now that I have a daughter, I care about women’s issues’? I always wonder what their moms think of that.” — @SelenaCoppock/Twitter
- How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. You don’t need lightbulbs when you have a glass ceiling.
- Men: “I won’t date feminists.”
Feminists: “K”. Men: “Ever.” F: “It’s almost like I subscribe to a whole movement that makes it safe for me not to care.” — @1followernodad/Twitter
- Women, after saying something intelligent: “So yeah.”
Women, after giving a concise, sensible, and well-measured thought on the matter: “If that makes sense?” Men, after delivering one of the worst, most illogical points you’ve ever read: “Prove me wrong. I’m waiting.”
- “‘IDK, man, she just went crazy’ is guy-speak for ‘I did some shit I should probably be in jail for, and she was like, ‘This is unhealthy,’ and left.” — @hellolanemoore/Twitter
- Opinions on abortions are kinda like nipples.
Everyone has them, but women’s are a little bit more relevant. But all you ever see are men’s.
- “This computer’s mouse is so sensitive it’s like, what are you, a white straight guy being asked to admit that the system benefits you?” — @SelenaCoppock/Twitter
- Imagine if girls used the same style of joke to degrade men, like, “Cool story, bro, now go chop some wood.”
“What are you doing out of the garage? Go fix my car.” “The grill isn’t going to light itself!” “Don’t you have something to fix somewhere?”
- “Saying you won’t date a feminist is a simpler way of saying you’re afraid of dating a woman who expects you to give her an orgasm too.” — @behindyourback/Twitter
- Me after taking one feminist theory class:
Men: “Amen.” Me: “A-woman.”
- How to Tell If a Toy Is for Boys or Girls: A Guide
Do you operate the toy with your genitalia? Yes = This toy is not for children. No = It is for either girls or boys. (40)
- “If men could get pregnant, abortion clinics would be like Starbucks: There would be two on every block, four in every airport, and the morning-after pill would come in different flavors like sea salt and cool ranch.” — SNL
- Five Reasons You Should Help Your Wife Clean House
1. You fucking live there too. 2. You fucking live there too. 3. You fucking live there too. 4. You fucking live there too. 5. You fucking live there too.
- Oh, we can’t pass gun laws because it treads on your liberty?
Tell me more about how we must regulate marriage and vaginas.
- My place is in the kitchen?
Your place seems to be in the late 1800s.
- “I just saw a commercial on TV for Viagra, and they advertised ‘Viagra home delivery.’ Are you fucking kidding me? Men can have their erection medicine literally delivered to their front door, but women need an employer’s consent and congressional movements to get their birth control?” — lacageaulion.tumblr.com
- “This guy at the gas station told me I was too tall to wear heels and that I should ‘probably stick to flats and sandals.’ I laughed in his face and grew another inch because my legs feed off the insecurities of little men.” — madsionlovescats.tumblr.com
- “I accidentally said ‘pastryarchy’ instead of ‘patriarchy,’ and now I have a vision for a better world.” — deadeyebrakeman/Twitter
- When I hear the phrase “men don’t start drama”: (Pulls out every world history book ever)
- Male character: “You’re not like other girls…”
Female character: “Yeah, I know. It’s almost as if we all have unique interests, hobbies, and personalities. It’s almost as if we’re all different people, and we have different needs and things. Wow. Shocking.”
- Man: “Has anyone ever told you you’re beautiful?”
Me: “Oh no, sir, today is my first day out of doors, and Papa forbade mirrors in the house lest we fall victim to vanity.”
- Girl: “Girls are better than boys.”
Boy: “Then why did God make boys first?” Girl: “Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy.”
- A man asks, “God, why did you make women so beautiful?”
God responded, “So you would love her.” The man asks, “But God, why did you make her so patient?” God replied, “So she would love you.”
- What’s the difference between a clitoris and a golf ball?
A man will actually look for a golf ball.
- How do you know when a man is about to say something smart?
When he starts his sentence with, “A woman once told me…”
- What’s a feminist’s favorite fruit to throw at a sexist man?
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