Wiggly Foot Jokes And Puns That'll Have You Feeling Ticklish

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 
foot jokes
Elva Etienne/Getty

Feet are the workhorses of the human body. Yet when the roll call of body parts comes around, they get disrespected and fall way behind other organs like the heart and the brain. Well, that nonsense stops here and now. Our feet carry us around all day, they help us outrun predators to keep us from being cheetah food, and they zip us right into a store during a good Black Friday sale. Think of all the sports that wouldn’t exist if we didn’t have feet! Or all the awkward high school dances they got us through! The list is truly endless.

So with that in mind, we went ahead and rounded up the absolute best foot jokes and puns that’ll have you wiggling your toes in laughter.

  1. What was the foot’s favorite type of chips? Dori-toes.
  2. What’s a foot’s favorite food? Shoe-shi.
  3. The gingerbread man goes to the doctor and tells him he really hurt his foot. The doctor says “Have you tried icing it?”
  4. Why isn’t your nose 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
  5. What does a thief wear on its feet? Sneakers.
  6. What has four legs but no feet? A table!
  7. How does an astronomer cut his toenails? Eclipse them.
  8. I used to really hate my foot fungus, but now it’s actually starting to grow on me.
  9. I didn’t think orthopedic shoes would help me, but I stand corrected.
  10. Foot injuries are always really serious because they take so long to heel.
  11. What did the foot say to the soccer ball when they won the match? I toed you so.
  12. What has four legs but no feet? A table.
  13. Which two Ancient Greek philosophers had the nicest feet? Pla-toe and Sock-rates.
  14. Does your shoe have a hole in it? No? Then how did you put your foot in it then?
  15. How hard was it for the shoemaker to manufacture clown shoes? It was no small feet.
  16. What do you call it when you put two slices of bread around your foot? A below-knee sandwich.
  17. People are always telling me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to really put my foot down.
  18. What does a foot have for breakfast? Jam and toe-st.
  19. What is a foot’s favorite mint? Men-toes.
  20. What do you call a shoe made out of bananas? A slipper.
  21. My boss is so mean. I feel like I am always tip toe-ing around him.
  22. My younger sister thought TGIF was an instruction manual that told her that the Toes Get In First.
  23. My father has a friend from Spain with a rubber toe. Whenever he comes home, my mother says, “Your friend Roberto is home for dinner.”
  24. The best way to keep yourself alert at all times is to join ballet because it is the only sport that keeps you on your toes.
  25. Anyone who thinks onions are the only vegetable that can make you cry has never dropped a turnip on their toe.
  26. What causes the pain you get when you kick a rocket? Missile Toe.
  27. Why did the man tip-toe in the medical closet? He did not want to wake the sleeping pills.
  28. What does Will Smith call his toes? They are my leg end.
  29. Why was the toe swollen and itchy? Because it had a severe case of toe-nsilitis!
  30. Whom did the man call instead of a doctor after hurting his feet while driving? He called the toe truck.
  31. What is the boy called if he’s stung by a bee on his foot? You call him Toby.
  32. How did the math teacher teach geometry with fractured hands? She would just toe the line.

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