My Husband's Gaming Addiction Is Ruining Our Marriage

From The Confessional: Husbands Are Gaming While Moms Run The F*cking House

Young boy playing games on a computer at home
Milan_Jovic/Getty

As parents, we joke about letting our kids have too much screen time, especially if it’s the only way we can get some peace and quiet. And we know that we, too, are on our phones a lot, so it’s a little hypocritical when we tell them to turn off the iPad because “too much screen time will fry your brain!” but we also know that our kids play outside, ride bikes, jump on the trampoline, play hide-and-seek, read books, and build forts. In short, they live life even though they really love Fortnite and Roblox.

But can we say the same for the grownup boys in our lives… meaning, our husbands? Far too often, we hear of adult gaming addictions—obsessions that take fathers away from their kids, ruin marriages, and impact their productivity at work. And those who love them are left helpless and alone as they hole themselves up for hours and hours on end, missing out on life and everything happening on the other side of that door.

Gaming can be a hobby, a lifeline that connects people to their friends, a de-stressor, and a distraction from the hardest parts of adulthood. But it also can take over a person’s life, sucking them into imaginary worlds, while their kids are growing up and memories are being made — and sadly, they’re missing it all.

Confessional #25792863

“This motherfucker couldn’t even change lightbulbs. All he thinks about is gaming. Asshole loser!”

Confessional #25787556

“H is so addicted to gaming. I want to leave. I’m so tired of feeling like I’m married to a high schooler.”

Confessional #25776932

“h has the audacity to criticize me while I go about living full days running errands, tidying up, taking care of the dog, losing weight, and working on myself all while he sits on his ass for 12 hours gaming. F U C K Y O U U U!! Loser.”

Confessional #25811984

“H has been off work for 4 days. I hate it. I hate when he’s home an extended period of time. He’s so lazy and disruptive with his all day gaming and his lack of desire to even MOVE his ass from the couch.”

When your husband is addicted to gaming, it can make him seem like a lazy POS, a loser, a deadbeat. You just wish he’d turn off the fucking screen, come out into the sunshine, and do something else for once.

Confessional #21408120

“Hubby gets this "poor is me" attitude about working full time while I stay home with the kids. PLZ! What else does he need???? Oh, I know.....more alone time for video gaming. Dude, your almost 40. Give it up.”

Confessional #17866754

“DH stays up until 3am every night gaming, then sleeps in every morning. I’m 8 months pregnant with baby #3, and I’M the one who gets up early with my other kids to make breakfast and get ready for the day. I think I want a divorce.”

Confessional #18241674

“I have spent the last 7 days putting out home fires and taking kids places and making things happen... DH can't see how much I have worked. Instead of helping (hi, dishes!), He has started gaming. Xbox. Now I hate Xbox.”

Confessional #25823691

“D H is going crazy because he can't find his gaming remote, or whatever it's called. I have a funny feeling that it will show up after he does the yard work he's been promising to do for three weeks.”

Losing your spouse to gaming really sucks because hey, guess what we’re doing while you play Call of Duty for 12 hours? EVERYTHING ELSE. You have kids who need help with homework, there are dishes that need washing, and the lawn needs to be mowed. It’s called being a fucking adult.

Confessional #22279050

“Partner started gaming 5 years into our relationship. It’s now been 4 years of loneliness, frustration, and arguments over how frequently he plays. I’ve tried everything but no solution ever sticks. This is not the relationship signed up for.”

Confessional #20992861

“H hasn't slept well in days....sex has been unenthusiastic for weeks (@ best).... he's always "so tired" unless he's gaming, which case he's fine to be up until 4a. Somehow I'm supposed to feel good about all of this? & Not neglected. Sure. ”

Confessional #25828905

“If I had known what marrying a gaming addict would actually be like I would have never done it. Every spare moment glued to that computer, wasting away in make-believe land. It was so sad. I was on my own, eating to soothe my loneliness. I was in hell”

Confessional #25810647

“DH told me not to expect him to wrap his Christmas gifts to me because he just doesn't have time. Too busy saving the planet from monsters and aliens with his gaming buddies, I guess.”

Being married to someone with a gaming addiction can lead to a sense of loneliness and neglect. Women feel trapped and unsure of what to do, especially if they still love their partners and want to try and make it work.

Confessional #20083170

“I passive aggressively gave my kids a really special gift without DH because he was gaming for 18 hours straight, ignoring us. I get you need to decompress but fuck off with that selfishness.”

Confessional #25806126

“I was forced to sell my gg-grandmother's armoir to pay the mortgage. H was "just so relieved" that we can stay in our home that he "treated himself" to a new gaming system. If you feel an earthquake anyplace on Earth, that's just me exploding in anger.”

Confessional #25806843

“His gaming is ruining our marriage”

The truth is, wives of gaming addicts are angry. They feel like they’re raising these kids without you, and they need you to come away from the game and return to the world. If you need help, get help. But your gaming addiction is ruining everything, and be warned—one of these days, you’re going to come out of the basement and your family won’t be there.

Losing a loved one—especially when that someone is supposed to be your partner for life—to a gaming obsession can break your heart and leave you feeling frustrated and alone. Sometimes an ultimatum is necessary to let them know you’ve reached your breaking point, and it’s you or the game. But remember that they’re addicted, and they may be unable to make the right choice without help.