From The Confessional: Kids Can Be Creepy AF

by Karen Johnson
Originally Published: 

Have your kids ever stood by your bedside at 4 a.m. and scared the absolute shit out of you? Or talked about being from another life? How about creepy ass antique dolls with their black eyes and porcelain heads?!

And it’s not just kids’ stuff that can be creepy AF. We’ve all gotten the heebie-jeebies from some rando who stands too close to us in line at the grocery store. Or when we speak out loud about needing a new rug and bam! Ads for rugs appear on our phone.

The truth is, there’s creepy shit everywhere and it’s important that we trust our gut to sniff it out and keep our kids safe. Or, at the very least, ban creepy AF kid toys from entering our house. So yeah—that alphabet puzzle that starts talking in the middle of the night, saying “Z is for Zebra” in the dark… throw that shit in the trash.

Victorian Era toys are creepy as fuck. I don't see how little kids back then weren't terrified out of their minds, playing with that crazy looking shit.

Confessional #25761948

I find reborn dolls creepy, but secretly i want one

Confessional #25758171

My first grade teacher read "I'll Love You Forever" and sobbed while reading it to us. I always thought it was a creepy story, even when I was 6. I hate that fucking book. DS, I love you but fuck no will I be that kind of mom.

Confessional #25792957

I think my daughter lived a past life. And she told me she once when she was 2 that I was her second mom, her other mom was dead a long time ago. How to you parent a soul older than yours?

Confessional #25809050

Kids can be creepy and so are their toys. And yes, a book about an elderly mom breaking into her grown son’s house to hold him—that’s creepy too.

I don’t get why people are so obsessed with Halloween and I think the cemetery and coffin decorations around my neighborhood are creepy.

Confessional #25800170

I'm sorry but I find it creepy as hell to watch a baseball game on TV and see the 50,000 seats filled with life-size cardboard picture cut-outs of fans.

Confessional #25792777

My husband has developed a super creepy habit of combing his beard all the time- the noise makes me feel sick and I’m not sure why he would possibly think it would make him look cool...

Confessional #25775706

And then there’s stuff that other people think is cool but freaks you out. Like weird beard-combing. Or cardboard cut-outs we like to pretend are real people so we can forget for two hours that we’re living in a pandemic.

I think Daddy/Daughter dances are creepy AF. Like why can't men bond with their girls by doing something completely unrelated to dating like fishing or something. Gross.

Confessional #25787529

Ever since my grandfather died 10+ yrs ago, Mom constantly posts about him, referring to him by a pet name she's never fucking used before, while he was alive. It's creepy AF.

Confessional #25786011

When my son was a baby, his paternal grandma insisted on calling him “lover. Not Love, not Lovee but lover. I freaked on her and told her she wouldn’t see him again if she continued. That was just creepy!”

Confessional #25775294

Watching MIL dote on DH is creepy and gross.

Confessional #25765789

Do you have that one odd uncle whose eyes scared TF out of you? Or an inappropriate MIL who doesn’t know boundaries? Do bizarre daddy-daughter relationships that seem borderline incestual make your skin crawl? Saaaaaaame.

Found out my trainer has a sock fetish & has been covertly taking pics of all us female clients’ feet when we don’t have shoes on. I think it’s creepy but I’ve been trolling him hard by wearing all kinds of crazy socks to see his reaction. Not sorry.

Confessional #25762923

Found out he’s been taking pictures of women’s feet without their knowledge or consent. I don’t really understand foot fetishes but think they’re usually harmless but the picture thing is kinda creepy & weird and I don’t know how to process this.

Confessional #25761707

my husband just admitted his "cast fetish" as in he sometimes pictures me in a leg cast while we are having sex. i don't know how i feel about it.

Confessional #1741768

Of course there are always those obsessions and fetishes you hear about that make you second-guess how well you know a person…

My creepy neighbor installed cameras outside his house and they are all pointed at our house. Can't wait to move!!

Confessional #25753456

I often sit in Dunkin and have coffee in the morning. There's this one man who despite there being many places to sit, sits next to me. Always. So creepy. Reported him to manager. Kind of feel bad but my gut is giving me a funny feeling.

Confessional #25752203

Was sitting in my doctor's waiting room to be called in for some lab tests, when I received a pop-up ad saying "What are you doing THERE - we're just 4 miles away and are MUCH cheaper!" Have I mentioned how fucking creepy targeted advertising has become?

Confessional #25775001

And then there’s that creepy feeling you get when you feel like someone’s watching you—via camera… or your phone… or physically, like from two feet away. Creeeeeeepy.

We can laugh about harmless, yet disturbing looking Victorian dolls, but truly, if someone in your life is giving you the creeps, listen to that intuition and protect yourself. However, you might have to learn to deal with your husband’s odd beard combing because you actually love him and his beard. Your call on that one.

This article was originally published on