Hippity hoppity hello and Happy Easter, parents. Or is it? Like most major holidays, it makes our kids hyper and tantrum-prone. But like most major holidays, that doesn’t stop us.
We go to the terrifying egg hunts. We fill the baskets with too much candy and then wonder why our kids are climbing the walls. We take them to get photos with some creep in a bunny suit that will haunt our nightmares until August and then we get to clean up Easter grass until there’s snow on the ground again. We do it all out of love, and luckily, the funny parents of Twitter manage to make it funny.
1. It’s a miracle!
Awfully convenient, isn’t it? Maybe if his only toys were little plastic eggs….
2. BRB, hiding in the closet forever.
Even the “non-scary” bunny is freaking horrifying in my opinion, so imagining the “scary” one has me tinkling in my pants a little.
$50 is far less than you’d pay for an all-day babysitter, this is literally the best idea in the whole world.
4. It never dies.
We need to gather all the Easter grass on the planet and burn it. It’s the only way. Actually, never mind. We would still be finding it in every room of the house until Christmas.
Every holiday brings with it the chance to start a petty argument with your spouse. Don’t let this opportunity pass you by!
6. We play to win.
Oh, so am I the only one who outfits their kids in crash helmets and knee and elbow pads pre-hunt? Whatever, second place is the first loser.
7. What luck.
Is your chocolate fix worth snuffing out the joy in a child’s eyes. Yes. Yes it is.
Moms get no holidays. Except Mother’s Day, and we all know what a shitshow that is.
This is one of like, four solid benefits of parenting. Kids are a constant source of free candy. Let us have this.
10. Funny how that works.
Put his shoes out in the yard among several plastic eggs. Just a thought.
11. Keep looking.
As long as we get to eat chocolate it’s fine. Everything is fine.
Honestly, who ever thought a giant bunny hiding eggs was a good idea? They must have been high AF.
In all fairness, it would save a lot of energy to just put them in a basket. Gathering is too much work.
Happy Easter, parents!
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